Walking Away… Save Your Tears
Love is a wonderful thing — but yes, love can also be one of the most painful things. Sometimes we give our hearts too quickly. Sometimes we give the benefit of the doubt one too many times. Sometimes we are blinded by the fact that we are finally living a dream — the dream of saying, “I’ll ask my boyfriend/girlfriend…” The dream of walking around campus holding hands, just like all those other couples we’ve seen so many times. The dream of going on romantic dates, of celebrating anniversaries, of receiving a stunning bouquet of flowers. The dream of that special text that says “Good night, love.” The dream of going to church together, of getting a surprise café latte, of receiving a surprise visit at work. The dream we’ve longed for so many times — the dream that seemed like everyone but us was living.
But then the small red flags start to appear — little comments that put you down, small lies, temper tantrums, a lack of purpose or direction in life. When those flags start showing, it’s time to pray, reflect, and make a decision. It’s not healthy to stay with someone only because you don’t want to be alone.
If the relationship you’re in feels like a black hole… walk away. Radical acceptance is necessary so you can make good decisions — decisions that lead to a future with less pain, less drama, and less heartbreak. It’s true — breaking up is terribly hard. And in a breakup, more than one heart usually breaks. But if you don’t date for fun, and you’re truly looking for a partner for life, you need to act as soon as you see the red flags.
Do it like pulling off a bandage — all at once. No breaking up and getting back together. No. Make the decision, and then don’t look back. People usually don’t change overnight. If they ever do, they need time — one, two, even three years or more — to work on themselves. Live your life, meet new people, and if God intends this person to be part of your future, He will make sure your paths cross again — renewed and ready for a fresh opportunity for love.
Unrealistic expectations will hurt you more than facing reality. Look honestly at who they are, then be honest with yourself and with them. Sometimes people take it well, but often they don’t. Still, come what may, you must be fearless, strong, and determined.
Sometimes you might even face a smear campaign — it’s true. But remember: you know who you are. You know your intentions. And you know that God knows your heart. Be confident. And most of all, stay close to God, because only He can heal, only He can strengthen, and only He can give you the grace it takes to move on.
