Sunday, June 20, 2021

Being Kind to Beautiful

Sometimes we meet someone whose life seems perfect.  They are beautiful.  They are loved.  They seem to have everything.  Everything we don't have.  

It is hard.  It is hard to know someone who has everything we ever wanted.  A person who seems to have it all.  And the worse part is - they don't even seem to understand just how lucky they are.  But we do.  We realize it, and it stings.  Yes, it makes us upset, even angry.  But why?

 One word: envy.  

Sometimes we don't grasp just how envious we can become.  We are unkind, sometimes even downright mean; and still we justify the way we act, and how we reject others.  We justify our lack of kindness.  And the worse part is, the more this person we so deeply envy is kind to us, the more our unkindness is made evident, and the more we hate them.  

Sounds familiar?  Maybe, the answer is yes.  Then you really need to read my post about envy.  

But maybe the answer is no.   Maybe you are that person, the one that gets tired of being the object of envy.   Tired of jealousy directed at you.  Tired of someone that seems determined to hate you no matter how kind you are to them.  You love people, but it doesn't seem to matter.  Sometimes one or more of those people you so deeply care about,  seem determined to shun you.  With no real reason, they mistreat you, with no explanation they reject you.  

My advise is: don't fret.  If you are not being appreciated, it's not your fault.  If others are jealous of you , it's on them.  Why long for those who don't give you the value you deserve?  You need to be strong.  For your own good, be strong.  Times change, people change too.  Get busy, give some time and most importantly, pray.  Whatever you do, don't make too much of it.  Because it's not you that is broken, it's them,  It's not you that needs to change, it's them.  It's not you that is sinning, it's them.  If you know someone that is bitter and envious of you, pray for them.  

Some people are incapable of feeling happy for people who shine, but is that a reason to stop shining?  If they themselves are doing badly, if their life is miserable then please try to understand them.  Pray for them.  Pray, because, for those who choose to justify jealousy and envy life does not improve.  Life just becomes more miserable with every bad action they take.  Every time they gossip, every time they snob you, every time they weave their little schemes and intrigues, every time they lie about you, every single time: they bring more misery unto themselves.

God always blesses us with at least one person who is special, one who can truly appreciate us.  Someone who loves us from the heart.  Let that be enough.  Because with relationships, truly, it is not quantity but quality that matters.  Open your eyes and find the people in your life who truly love you.  And be grateful.

 Remember, part of being grateful for something/someone, is to realize that you have enough.  Enough love.  Enough support.  Enough comfort.  Enough admiration.  Enough encouragement.  Don't be greedy, embrace the freedom of understanding that you do in fact have enough.  

God gives us enough, He always gives us more than enough.  He who is kindness and love itself, blesses us beyond our understanding, with enough of everything we need, to be happy and holy.

As for that person/people who does not appreciate you? Maybe they can change one day.

... but  maybe you too could change today!

Saturday, May 22, 2021

Loves comes walking in

Just when you thought it was all over, and you decided it was time to move on, he comes back.  

What do you do? 

Well, if you open the door, loves comes walking in.  

Think hard, pray much and then make your decision.  Matters of the heart can be complicated.  

Take your time don't quash your chances to live a great love story.

A great love is worth the effort.

A great love is worth the wait. 

If you feel you found your guy, give another chance. In love there is no room for pride.  There is no room for stupidity either so think hard, pray and then make a wise decision.

I will be praying for you!

Monday, May 17, 2021

Teens ignoring teens

                                           


What makes us cool or accepted?  Is it our age?  Is it the way we look?  Is it our intelligence?  Is it perhaps our sense of humour?  How are we perceived?  

Have you ever wondered?  Does it really matter?  Should you even care?  

What is a loser?  Who decides?  Is it the majority?  
What if it is a majority of losers that is deciding?  lol

We are all insecure, all trying to love and to be loved.   Why is it that we give so much importance to what other people think of us?  Why is it that people can be so cruel sometimes?  

If you are lonely, if you have ever felt left out, well then read on.  All these questions and more are questions that matter, they  matter because they affect our self confidence and can affect our emotions.  These are questions that start mattering at the teen years, but honestly they never really stop hunting us.  So instead of sticking our head in the ground like an ostrich, lol, lets stop running away from these questions and face them head on.

Sometimes people find friends in their teen years that last a life time.  Sometimes people find friends in their teen years and then they move on, and lose contact with those people and never see them again.  Sometimes you make friends and you think they care about you, and then something happens and you realize that those people that you cared so much about, were not worth your time.  

Nothing is a guarantee in life, and when are dealing with other humans it's not a sure science.  So what should we do?  How can we find happiness?  Peace?  Joy? 

 I think the key to a happy life, is to have total trust in God and confidence in the fact that everything changes.  If today things are good , if you have friends - well enjoy!  And do not worry about the future.  If today you are lonely and feel rejected by others, well have hope and remember that things don't last forever.  Situations change, things turn around and before you know it, you are out of the dark.

God never gives us more that what we can handle, and if we trust in Him, everything that happens can be for our good.  It all can help us grow in holiness and in virtue.  Don't give up, keep hoping regardless of how your situation looks like and you will be alright. 

 In this life there are ups and downs.  Nothing is written in stone.  Everything changes, if you give enough time.  Remember you were made perfect, there is only one of you, you are full of gifts and if people can not see that  - well that is their loss.  If they do not appreciate you, if people don't get you, remember you are valuable and move on.  

You don't need people that do not understand how precious you are.  Who needs that?  Get busy, distract yourself and before you know it you will find people that deserve you, and that place where you fit perfectly.  

The Bible says do not give pearls to pigs or holy things to dogs.  Why?  Because they will destroy them.  If you are hurting or you feel rejected, remember it may not be you that needs to change, it might not be you who is broken,  it might be that you simply need to pick better friends.  

It is better to be alone for a while, than in bad company!



Thursday, April 22, 2021

Make assumptions? Err on the side of kindness

We all make assumptions.  We think we know others.  We think we know how they think, what makes them tick.  We make an assumption, then a judgement.  Next thing we know, we have labeled a person without ever giving them a chance.  I am here to make a proposal, lol.  

What is my proposal?  

Well, my proposal is, that if we choose to make assumptions, lets err on the side of kindness.  If you see someone for the first time, if you meet someone new, make a commitment that from now on, you will give them a chance, or two, or three.  And how do we go about doing that?  Well, just choose to give the benefit of the doubt.  So let's try to stop the labels:

  • He is a loser
  • She is too young
  • He is conceited
  • She is weird
  • He is loud
  • She is full of herself etc.

If we meet a very beautiful girl, lets assume she is not only beautiful - she is also holy and kind.

If we meet a very ugly person, lets assume they might be ugly -  but their soul shines like the sun.

If we meet someone that seems like a dumb dumb (by the way, lol,  that very easily could be me),  assume the person is nervous and let them warm up to you - perhaps they will surprise you.

If we meet someone that is a tad dry, hard to talk to,  let's assume they had a rough day and maybe - next time they will dazzle us.

Some people have a rough time at home, or a rough life.  Others might have had bad experiences meeting new people.  If we give people a chance, usually we will be pleasantly surprised.  In giving someone the benefit of the doubt,   perhaps we will be giving ourselves the gift of meeting someone truly extraordinary.





Saturday, April 10, 2021

Expecting great from little humans

                                          


Can we expect "great" from a small kid?  Great character, great behaviour, great love? Should we teach what is right and what is wrong from a young age?  

Oh heavens yes!  

Do me a favour if you have a small sibling, don't enable them when they act badly.  They are capable of understanding, and they are capable of great things.  Why would we not help them be great?  

Truth be told,  I have seen plenty a kid maybe between 4-9 years old that are spoiled rotten by parents that seem to be under the impression, that these children are incapable of being:  kind, respectful, loving etc.  There parents allow these "little terrors" to rule their house.  These "little ones" run around terrorizing older siblings and friends of the family.  They are rude, harsh, aggressive and extremely disrespectful and annoying to all who are around them.  Do you know someone like this? Maybe even in your own house?

God made us with an incredible capacity to love.  Our spirits are made for greatness.  When parents and siblings don't correct "the little ones" in a family , they are robbing them from something precious; the ability to truly shine!  They are also smashing any opportunity to becoming well adjusted, well functioning humans.  What do you think , do you think that it is easier to learn obedience, respect and kindness from the time you are a little baby....or do you think that it will be easier to learn after years of getting away with a reign of terror?  Kind and loving do not happen by magic!

Honestly bad habits become part of who we are.  If a person acts the same terrible way over a period of time - it will become a bad habit.  Act that same terrible way over a prolonged period of time and it will become part of who you are. 

So if you have a small sibling at home that is out of control, well first of all pray about it.  Then address it with your mom and dad.  If all else fails, at least you can try to teach what is good and right to them.  Believe me you will be doing a labor of love.  True love teaches what is true and right and expects great things from people.  We need to love one another.  We need to believe that we can be great.  We need to teach holiness and hope for holiness, so that holiness can shine in a soul.  

If you know a small person who:

  • Disrespects those older than them
  • Are cruel and unkind with their siblings  and piers
  • Are harsh and threatening towards people
  • Manipulate their parents
  • Want to act as if they are way older than they truly are, etc
If you know kids like these, speak up.  Don't tolerate bad behaviour, you will be doing them a service.  Otherwise these "little tyrants" will grow up to be monsters....and it might be to late to fix things at this point.  

Don't be part of the problem....be bold, pray and act.  All things are possible for those who love God!  Believe and things will change.


Saturday, January 30, 2021

Like someone? Flirt with a purpose



In this rather messy world every now and then we meet someone special who grabs our interest.  We befriend them and we invest time and effort in the relationship.  As the relationship progresses we might  find ourselves having feelings for "our friend".  We might  try to ignore it, but feelings have a way of coming out.  And before we know it we are flirting.  

We give some subtle compliments, we let the person know they are somewhat special to us, we try to see them more often.  We don't call this liking.  We don't even allow ourselves to recognize it as liking in our brain, and we suppress what our heart already knows.  We like someone, but we are terrified to acknowledge our feelings.  

Why do we do this? Sometimes we want to let somebody know we like them, but  we simply lack nerve.  Afraid? You  might ask. Afraid of what?  Well, afraid of:  of rejection, of your friends finding out and making fun of you, afraid of the next step, afraid of your parents reaction to your first crush and the list goes on.  Yup, sometimes we are just cowards.  

Sometimes we lack clarity, true, and we really don't  know what is the next step.  But sometimes, the problem is worse, let's be honest sometimes we don't want clarity.  Why?  Because with clarity comes decision making, and decision making is hard business. But we can't forget the other person is a real human being.  Yes, shocking huh?  A real human with feelings, and they deserve honesty and clarity.  You deserve to be honest and clear both to the other person and to yourself.    Just because we refuse to acknowledge  we are flirting, and we call it something else, it does not mean we are being truthful.  We can't have our own definitions for words.  If you call someone a pet name, if you ask them to do something special, if you ask them if they like you etc - newsflash you are flirting.  Just because we refuse to recognize our feelings it does not mean they are not there.

So what can we do? 

Well, stringing people along is not fair, and should never be one of our options.  First people have feelings,  it's unfair and just plain wrong to play with their feelings.  And second, because it eventually can all  blow up on our faces.  We can end up losing that person that was most important to us and that cared most for us.  We all have feelings, we can't be so self involved that we ignore the fact that we might be hurting someone that does not deserve it. 

If we do nothing at all we might miss out on the best thing we had going for us. Often the best things in life are for those who have courage, for humans who are ready to face their fears and insecurities, and take that next step.  

  • Guys you need to ask girls on dates! That makes your intentions clear to the girl and yes to your own brain!  
  •  Girls don't flirt just to have one more guy in the list of people who like you, that is just vain and cruel.  
  • If you are not interested in dating for whatever reason, well say it from the get-go.
  • If you have not made up your mind and like more than one human, well then don't act like you are smitten by someone and make them believe that you are into them.  

The problem is not to not be sure, no, that is not the problem people!  The problem is, to not be sure, but act as if you are sure.  Look if you are looking for someone special don't play with people's feelings.  People don't like being played with and they will erase you.  One day you  might just realize that you lost the best thing you had going for you!

Flirt but flirt with a purpose.  

Date but date with a purpose. 

Fall in love but don't fall in love by accident.  

You deserve better and so does she/he!

Monday, January 18, 2021

Am I a crush or a friend?





Clarity Please 


Navigating the waters of liking someone is not easy in the year 2021, and it won't get any easier in the future.  So what can one do?  Well for one, we can try our best to not be part of the problem.  
Do on to others as you would like them to do to you!   Does that age old Bible wisdom ring a bell?  When we deal with people and their feelings we need to be very careful.  It is easy to feel important and get lost in the excitement of the moment.  But we can not lose sight of the fact that it is a person we are dealing with.  Stringing a guy/girl along is not only unkind it is cruel.

If we hate the way others are behaving towards us, we need to start changing the world by having the courage to be the ones to act different.  When someone shows interest or affection for you, cherish them.  It is not every day that someone gets to experience the love or admiration from someone else. Don't be confusing, don't send wrong signals, don't lie with your words or with your body.  Look manipulating people is unkind and simply wrong.  We need to clarify our feelings and intentions when someone shows interest in us from the get go!

If you show affection in any way, if you flirt, if you give hope and then pretend you never did - that is cruel.  I know that if you are reading this you are probably someone who would not purposely be cruel to anyone.  But sometimes we end up getting carried away and acting in an unkind way towards others unintentionally. So we need to pay attention, and live more intentional lives.  

Manipulating people is unkind and simply wrong. If you have someone that is showing you interest or affection:

    Be clear and honest from the beginning
    Do  not give them false signals, or false hope 
   Don't act to your friends as if you have never been interested, specially if it's not true 
    Don't talk about the person as if they are dying for you and use them to gain admiration 
    Be  a gentleman/ kind woman and do not use others as props to get attention for yourself
    Don't lie to yourself, you might miss out in the best thing that ever happened to you.  
       

In summary  look:  if you do have feelings, don't be an idiot lol.  If you don't have feelings don't be a liar.  Please keep this in mind, hearts are fragile and one day it will be your turn.  Be kind, be fair, be extraordinary. 

 Certainly todays times are calling for more extraordinary humans. 

Will you commit to being one?




Saturday, January 16, 2021

Parents, Teens and Dating: What do I do?



Guys, girls and feelings... what a dilemma.  You know just yesterday I heard about a girl whose parents will not let her date until she is 23.  She is currently 16.  This girl is not even allowed to like someone.  Now while I understand that her parents love her and only want what is best for her; and while the Bible does call for children to respect their parents, well the Bible also calls for parents to not exasperate their children.  It also says God never gives us burdens heavier than we can carry, and it calls us to be like Him.  So parents should not give their kids rules to hard to follow, or to unreasonable to bear.

Look if you are a teen or a parent reading this, just stay with me.  I am going to make a case for this poor teen.  We  all want someone special, and we all want to love and to be loved.  This poor girl's parents must have forgotten what it was like when they were young.  I remember being only six,  yes people 6 years old and feeling in love with a fellow kindergartener called Luis Ricardo.  We used to hold hands and dream with getting married one day.  Strange story yes,  nevertheless true.  Now did I end up marrying Luis Ricardo, nope, my dad got a job in a different country and we ended up moving there.  My love story with Luis Ricardo ended at the airport when he came to say goodbye with a sweet little teddy bear for me.  

What is my point?  Is my point that six year olds should date?  Nope not at all, if that is what you think you missed the point completely and you need to read more carefully lol.  My point is that any of us at any given time, are capable of having feelings for a special someone.  We are not robots that can be programmed, and we are not in control of when or for who we get romantic feelings for.    Parents are being unreasonable if they think they can try to regulate when their kids can start having romantic feelings for someone.  

I remember also in primary school, and in primary school plenty a kid had crushes and plenty a kid had  girlfriends/boyfriends.  Primary School, that was like over 30 years ago for me  gulp, but it gives you a good point of reference of how things truly have not changed all that much.  Humans are humans and will always be humans.  Wow that was deep lol.  No but for real, no matter the year, no matter the technology the human heart always remains the same.  What we choose to do with the feelings we get might have changed a lot, but that is a topic for a different post, but the feelings themselves have always been the same, from the beginning of time.  

In my opinion parents should try their best to be reasonable, and at least meet their kids half way.  Parents need to make an effort to remember how things were when they were young.  Trying to make unreasonable demands, only makes kids hide things from their parents.  Why?  Because we can't help how we feel, and we will be afraid to share what is in our mind and heart when we know our feelings are being judged harshly.  

So if your parents have unreasonable rules,  try to talk to them.  If that does not work, try to talk to someone in the family or in your group of friends you trust, that can talk to them.  If that does not work, well pray.  God always helps, and if you are patient...and you are respectful, eventually things will get better.

Having feelings is normal.  Acting on those feelings is a whole other thing.  Take your time.   Make God your priority.  Pray and all will fall into place!  

Life is good, God is love and you are extraordinary!  Don't ever forget that!  







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Sunday, March 29, 2020

Princess in Overalls




Do I post the whole book?

Hi!

I want to know if you would like me to post my whole book again.  I used to have it in my blog but then figured it was too long, and I decided to make things easier and shorter for you.  But now with all of us being stuck at home with nothing to do; I though it might be a good idea for me to put the story back up.

Send me your thoughts on that.

Use my email address (light_in_u@yahoo.com) or the comment section to let me know what you think!

Stay holy, stay safe!


Carolina
  

Monday, March 23, 2020

Encouragement for COVID-19














COVID 19 ...our nemesis.  Did any of us imagine when this all started that it was going to last this long?  Hardly.  We have come along way and still no end in sight.  Things can get very tiring, we can feel discouraged and hopeless.  But we can't give in, we can't give up.  We need to move forward and find the strength to continue hoping, praying, and trying to find purpose in these very strange times.  Please watch this video if you feel you need some encouragement.  Please don't forget to press the Like button and Share.  






Monday, February 17, 2020

Do I love? - Looking into myself


We all talk about love, and most of us are serious when we say the world needs more love!  But, do we love as we should?  Do we take responsibility for our part?   Are we failing miserably?  Or are we striving to love more, to love better?  Well one way to find out, is by having a little time at the end of the day or the week to reflect on how we are doing.  Ask ourselves some tough questions....are you up for it?

Here is a great list of questions that will help us see how we are doing when it comes to loving others....to truly loving others.  I advise you to take paper and pen and take some notes.  Take this seriously and you will learn a lot about yourself, you will also be able to make some real changes that can move you in the right direction....to truly love!  I will have these divided into four or five parts...keep your eyes open!  I advise you to not rush through these, read a question and take time to truly ponder it....only then move to the next one.  Get a journal or a pad of paper and take some notes.  Come on get excited and take this seriously, the world needs more love and it starts with us!  This is part 1 !


V"Love is patient love is kind

Am I patient with myself? 

Do I expect too much of myself? 

Do I get angry at myself when I fail? 

Am I patient in prayer? 

Do I stop praying if I don’t get quick results? 

Do I remember to pray for others?

Am I patient with others (family, friends, school)? 

Do I get irritable at other people’s failures or weaknesses, or if they are less quick or clever than I am? 

Am I patient and kind with children, the elderly and the sick? 

Am I patient with those who work with me or for me?

Am I gentle and kind in my speech? 

Do I speak well of others? 

Do I act kindly towards those in a less privileged position than mine?

Do I act kindly towards those in a higher position than me (maybe people I consider more beautiful, more successful, or rich)?

V  It is not jealous, or pompous, it is not inflated. 

Am I jealous of someone else’s good fortune, or success? 

Do I judge people because of their car, their clothes, their home etc (when they have nicer things than me, or more expensive things than me)?

Do I try to keep up with the next-door neighbour? 

Do I boast about my children, my friends, my abilities….about anything else?

Am I affronted if others don’t live up to my expectations? 

Do I expect more of others than I do of myself? 

Do I criticize others so that they lose confidence in themselves? 

Am I complacent about myself? 

Am I hypocritical in the way I live? 

Do I keep on comparing myself with others?

Do I look for praise from others? 

Do I always try to be the centre of attention?

Am I slow to thank, to encourage, to praise? 

Do I bore others by talking about myself? 

Am I conceited? 

Do I stop to give thanks to God…and to those who love me?

Do I bother to listen to others? 

Am I slow to apologize or to admit my faults? 

Do I show my gratitude to God and my fellow men for all they do for me?

Do I include others in my group of friends?

Do I care when others are lonely or feel left out?

V  Love is not rude, it does not seek it's own interests( it is not selfish)

Do I treat others with the respect due to them as persons? 

Do I act as if I don't need anyone?

Do I disparage others with the way I talk to them?

Am I genuine in my relationships with others? Am I ever fake? Do I gossip about them? 

Do I disregard fairness in mind or action? (ex: with those who work for you or with you?) 

Does my language reflect my loving attitude toward others?(what about when you fight and/or are angry?) 

Am I ever arrogant, rough, obstinate or overbearing?(with your friends, parents or husband?) 

Does my character prevent others from speaking? 

Do I inconvenience others by my selfish use of radio…TV…record player etc? 

Do I insist on what I want before thinking about others and what they might want? 

Do I consider the effect that my actions will have on others?

 Am  I inconsiderate? 

Do I try to let others know they mean a lot to me?

Do I take a genuine interest in the needs of the Third World? 

Is my attitude to material things determined by selfish motives? 

Do I use my own and other people’s property with do care? 

Do I ever deliberately hurt another? Do I always find excuses to justify why I hurt them?

Do I seek for my own pleasure at the expense of others? 

Does my selfishness ever lead me to ignore God?