Poor Me? Am I the Problem?
Loneliness is hard to bear. Feeling misunderstood, abandoned, or rejected can be almost unbearable. So sometimes, we turn to whatever tactic we can think of to get attention—to feel loved, to be wanted, to not feel so alone. One of those tactics, for some, is to seek pity. We may try to make others feel bad for us so they’ll show us compassion or affection.
This often starts in childhood. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to notice that when a child falls and scrapes their knee, someone—usually Mom or another caring adult—comes rushing to comfort them. When we cry, help arrives quickly. That’s good and right—it shows we’re loved and cared for. But if we start to use that response or manipulate it, it can trap us.
Bad habits that begin in childhood can follow us into adulthood. And if we repeat something long enough, it can become part of our personality. If we start to rely on others’ pity as a way to receive love or attention—what I’ll call the “Poor Me” habit—we are treading dangerous ground.
Why? Because once we weaponize pity, it becomes a hard habit to break. Eventually, we may even start believing our own "Poor Me" narrative. It becomes our script, our identity. And when that happens, it can lead to a constant cycle of sadness, anxiety, loneliness, rejection, self-pity, and an inability to feel gratitude. That’s not life. That’s misery. And it’s not what we were created for.
But here's the good news: We can break free.
We can begin again. We can decide—yes, even force ourselves—to stop relying on pity and instead start looking at our lives through the lens of gratitude. We can stop obsessing over what’s missing and begin focusing on what we have.
And most importantly, we can turn to Jesus.
Only Jesus can truly heal our hearts. He is always ready to help, to restore, to pour out His grace upon us. He sees us, understands us, and loves us completely.
We must want to break the cycle. We must be willing to stop:
Always seeking attention
Constantly highlighting how unlucky we are
Focusing only on the negatives
The "Poor Me" identity does not serve us well. It keeps us stuck. It holds us back from the life God wants us to live.
Our true identity is not in our suffering, our failures, or our loneliness.
Our identity is in Christ.
In Him, we find freedom. In Him, we find every grace we need to live a beautiful life—whatever that life looks like. Some people might be CEOs. Others might be mixing paint in a factory for 40 years. Wherever we are, we can make that place holy by inviting God into it. Any moment can be a blessing. Any job, a mission. Any place, an opportunity to touch lives—through prayer, through kindness, through offering up our trials for others who suffer or who don’t yet know God.
No matter where we find ourselves, we are children of God.
Yes, you are a beloved child of the Creator of the universe! That means you are deeply loved, cared for, and chosen. That means you are royalty—because you are a child of the King of Kings. That means everything you need to make a difference, to bring light to others, to heal and grow—it’s already available to you through Him.
So when you’re feeling sad, small, unsuccessful, or unloved—get up.
Dust yourself off.
Walk boldly.
Reach out to your beautiful Saviour with confidence.
You are not a victim. You are not stuck. You are not a “Poor Me.”
You are the boss of your mind. Yes, you heard me! Let your soul be the boss of your brain. Don’t let your thoughts run wild like a horse into the pastures of sorrow, loneliness, and despair. Tame them. Take charge.
Decide today that you are no longer a "Poor Me."
Because everything starts with a decision.
You’ve got this.
I’m praying for you. 
