Showing posts with label Bullying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bullying. Show all posts

Sunday, June 20, 2021

Being Kind to Beautiful

Sometimes we meet someone whose life seems perfect.  They are beautiful.  They are loved.  They seem to have everything.  Everything we don't have.  

It is hard.  It is hard to know someone who has everything we ever wanted.  A person who seems to have it all.  And the worse part is - they don't even seem to understand just how lucky they are.  But we do.  We realize it, and it stings.  Yes, it makes us upset, even angry.  But why?

 One word: envy.  

Sometimes we don't grasp just how envious we can become.  We are unkind, sometimes even downright mean; and still we justify the way we act, and how we reject others.  We justify our lack of kindness.  And the worse part is, the more this person we so deeply envy is kind to us, the more our unkindness is made evident, and the more we hate them.  

Sounds familiar?  Maybe, the answer is yes.  Then you really need to read my post about envy.  

But maybe the answer is no.   Maybe you are that person, the one that gets tired of being the object of envy.   Tired of jealousy directed at you.  Tired of someone that seems determined to hate you no matter how kind you are to them.  You love people, but it doesn't seem to matter.  Sometimes one or more of those people you so deeply care about,  seem determined to shun you.  With no real reason, they mistreat you, with no explanation they reject you.  

My advise is: don't fret.  If you are not being appreciated, it's not your fault.  If others are jealous of you , it's on them.  Why long for those who don't give you the value you deserve?  You need to be strong.  For your own good, be strong.  Times change, people change too.  Get busy, give some time and most importantly, pray.  Whatever you do, don't make too much of it.  Because it's not you that is broken, it's them,  It's not you that needs to change, it's them.  It's not you that is sinning, it's them.  If you know someone that is bitter and envious of you, pray for them.  

Some people are incapable of feeling happy for people who shine, but is that a reason to stop shining?  If they themselves are doing badly, if their life is miserable then please try to understand them.  Pray for them.  Pray, because, for those who choose to justify jealousy and envy life does not improve.  Life just becomes more miserable with every bad action they take.  Every time they gossip, every time they snob you, every time they weave their little schemes and intrigues, every time they lie about you, every single time: they bring more misery unto themselves.

God always blesses us with at least one person who is special, one who can truly appreciate us.  Someone who loves us from the heart.  Let that be enough.  Because with relationships, truly, it is not quantity but quality that matters.  Open your eyes and find the people in your life who truly love you.  And be grateful.

 Remember, part of being grateful for something/someone, is to realize that you have enough.  Enough love.  Enough support.  Enough comfort.  Enough admiration.  Enough encouragement.  Don't be greedy, embrace the freedom of understanding that you do in fact have enough.  

God gives us enough, He always gives us more than enough.  He who is kindness and love itself, blesses us beyond our understanding, with enough of everything we need, to be happy and holy.

As for that person/people who does not appreciate you? Maybe they can change one day.

... but  maybe you too could change today!

Thursday, April 22, 2021

Make assumptions? Err on the side of kindness

We all make assumptions.  We think we know others.  We think we know how they think, what makes them tick.  We make an assumption, then a judgement.  Next thing we know, we have labeled a person without ever giving them a chance.  I am here to make a proposal, lol.  

What is my proposal?  

Well, my proposal is, that if we choose to make assumptions, lets err on the side of kindness.  If you see someone for the first time, if you meet someone new, make a commitment that from now on, you will give them a chance, or two, or three.  And how do we go about doing that?  Well, just choose to give the benefit of the doubt.  So let's try to stop the labels:

  • He is a loser
  • She is too young
  • He is conceited
  • She is weird
  • He is loud
  • She is full of herself etc.

If we meet a very beautiful girl, lets assume she is not only beautiful - she is also holy and kind.

If we meet a very ugly person, lets assume they might be ugly -  but their soul shines like the sun.

If we meet someone that seems like a dumb dumb (by the way, lol,  that very easily could be me),  assume the person is nervous and let them warm up to you - perhaps they will surprise you.

If we meet someone that is a tad dry, hard to talk to,  let's assume they had a rough day and maybe - next time they will dazzle us.

Some people have a rough time at home, or a rough life.  Others might have had bad experiences meeting new people.  If we give people a chance, usually we will be pleasantly surprised.  In giving someone the benefit of the doubt,   perhaps we will be giving ourselves the gift of meeting someone truly extraordinary.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Cruel Kids - Have you been bullied?

Cruel Kids?

Have you been bullied?  Many kids have.  Kids can be cruel sometimes, bruising their peers in the most profound way, shattering their self-confidence, making them feel miserable, utterly disappointed and troubled. Isn’t it ironic, that it is only after growing up a bit that we start becoming aware of our looks? I don’t think many parents realize the importance of teaching their children to be kind. And I don’t think many parents realize how much a child can suffer in school. In some people’s opinion, children don’t have problems, only adults. But this is not true. Everything is proportional to the person experiencing it. For little children, a problem that can seem trivial to an adult can deeply hurt their feelings and leave them heartbroken.  

Not everybody is nice in the world, but that that does not mean everybody is mean. Not everybody is nice in the world, but that is no reason to join them. There will always be mean people, jealous people, angry people, bitter people and envious people in our lives. But there will always be good, kind, friendly, compassionate, caring people, too. So, we must open our eyes and search for the people who are worth our while, instead of getting disappointed thinking that people are all bad. By giving a chance to others, we are really giving a chance to ourselves.

It is important to make sure we do not become infected by bitterness or become mean ourselves. We must make an effort to always be excellent, no matter how hard things get. When someone says something to us, we have to know it is not a fact, but just a disputable opinion that person has about us. We should not let it bother us. An opinion is just a guess, a supposition, a generalization somebody makes about us. It is harmless unless we allow it to become important, since it will not be true unless we make it true.

  • Why give people or words an importance that they do not deserve?
  • Why do we insist on being offended by what other people say?
  • Who cares what someone else calls me if I know who I am for real? 
  • Why should it be such a tragedy to be called a name? Who cares? 
  • Why do we insist on giving so much importance to other people’s opinions of us? 

We cannot change certain people, but we can ignore them. We cannot change certain people, but we can always change ourselves. Let’s therefore focus on ourselves that we may be stronger and turn into better people, so that we can keep a good equilibrium in this world bringing to it goodness and love. Let’s make a point out of becoming more confident. To be sure of ourselves is one of the most valuable lessons we will ever learn, and it is never too late. Let’s make it our goal to find reasons to be happy instead of reasons to be offended. Let’s make it our life’s task to learn to be less mean. After all, after a while the mean people may get tired of being mean, and after a while being nice and kind becomes contagious.

We all have encountered at some point in time someone trying to hurt us. Let’s be more confident inside from now on, remembering that anything anybody says about us is just their opinion. 

Wisdom to contemplate:

“Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer.” (Romans 12:12)

Continue your kindness toward your friends, your just defense of the honest heart. Do not let the foot of the proud overtake me, nor the hand of the wicked disturb me.” (Psalm 36:11-12)