Obstacles to Overcome : Can we survive the pain?

                                        

            I once read in a book that life experiences can be compared to tea: the sweeter it is the more delicious it is, but the more bitter it is the more healthy it is. Easy is not always good for us, and difficult and painful is not necessarily bad. It is marvelous when someone challenges our point of view and points out what is wrong in us. It might be something that we had not found out about ourselves before, and maybe something we wouldn’t have ever found out unless someone told us. We need to try to ignore the tone of voice the person used and not be frightened by the facial expression. We need to look beyond, seeking the lesson life has for us, seeing the opportunity to improve ourselves in every situation.

            The more someone disagrees with us, points out our faults and touches our wounds, the better it is for us! But accepting that is easier said than done. We are also called to love our enemy but it is not an easy thing to do. Loving our enemy is indeed difficult, no matter how the enemy presents itself. It could be a situation, a person or sometimes even our own selves. Dealing with the pain that other people inflict on us is a big challenge. Hypocrisy, betrayal, intrigue and humiliation are not easy things to deal with.

            So, why do people hurt us anyway? Oftentimes, people just have a lot of darkness inside but do not want to face it. They may have a lot of sin in their lives, and this makes them bitter and blind. To face their ugliness hurts their ego, so they live in denial. They find faults in everyone but themselves, they live in conflict with others, and then in their own eyes they don’t look so bad. They justify their actions to themselves and find reasons to fight with others. In this way, they convince their consciences that they are the real victims and are not at fault. They would rather be angry and look at others with disdain than face the fact that they have a defect that they need to change.

            When somebody hurts us, we must make sure we do not hate the person but that we hate the action. It is as if someone has muddy clothes we do not hate the person, but we hate the mud on the clothes. Then, if the person changes clothes (changes his or her attitude or bad behavior) and puts on clean, white clothes, the problem is solved. We need to make an effort to love the person even though we might hate the person’s actions.

             We can pray for the people who have hurt us, so that they may change. Maybe those who have hurt us don’t have a relationship with God. Perhaps they are in the dark, not even aware of their behavior and feeling righteous when they are not. We need to try to have compassion on them because, as Mother Teresa used to say, “You do not know what it feels like to be them!” Then we can pray, “Lord Jesus, bring them to Yourself, change them, save them.”

           It truly makes sense to love our enemy, even though it is hard. Why? Because the more I am challenged to exercise my beliefs, the more I am strengthened in my virtues. How can we ever be sure we are truly kind or patient unless someone challenges our patience? To be more forgiving, we need a situation that calls on us to forgive. To be more humble, we need to welcome situations that will help us to get rid of our pride. What I am trying to say is that in everything God works for our good if we let Him. How do we let Him? By remembering that every situation is an opportunity for me to become a better me!

Wisdom to contemplate:

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.’ I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)



“We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

Note:

If something in this post touched your heart, I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to share your thoughts or your own story in the comments —your voice matters !

also...

I offer Talks and Workshops:

I can come to your school or to your church etc,  the topics would be from any of my posts.

For Ideas Contact Me: carolinaakoglu@gmail.com Subject: Princess in Overalls

Happiness is at hand !

I am convinced that half of our problems would go away if only we were able to surrender to the beauty of being alive and being loved by God. Yes, let’s pause for breath and think about all the reasons why we can be happy, instead of all the reasons why we think we are unhappy.  If we just took the time to smile and delight in a simple moment of joy, then we would be able to see that it is in the little things that happiness is hiding. It is in the ability to appreciate the everyday things that we start feeling tranquility and joy. 

• Wouldn’t it be fantastic if we, could find happiness in the simple, sweet moments of our lives? 

• Wouldn’t it be great if, like “little ones,” we were able to seek the sweet juice of life without allowing trivial things to get in the way?

• Wouldn’t it be just perfect if we could stop and make an effort, even if for a minute, to detach ourselves from problems and from the monotony of the everyday and aim for the extraordinary? 

Some of us are just never satisfied, always desiring what we do not have, and this is truly sad. If we only could find happiness in the small things that make our lives unique, then happiness would be in our hearts most of the time. We must stop ourselves if we find ourselves complaining about our circumstances. We must try to wake up asking ourselves:

•            Why is it that we are never satisfied with our situation?

• Why is it that once we achieve one of our goals, we immediately ignore what has been achieved and set our eyes on the next thing? 

• What am I grateful for?  

If we are willing to be like “little ones,” then, like them, we will find a million reasons to be happy and a million things worth enjoying. Big moments in our lives fly by, leaving us only memories. But simple, small reasons to be happy are waiting for us every day! If we can learn to find joy in these little things, and use our memories to boost our morale when we need it, to bring a smile to our lips when we feel we just can’t go on, then it will be possible to find ourselves happy most of the time. And isn’t that what everybody wants?

 To be happy is a choice. It is our choice. Nobody can make us happy but ourselves. Nobody can come and inject happiness into us. Happiness is found inside ourselves. It doesn’t matter where you are the type of house you own, the country you live in, the vehicle you drive, the job you have. It doesn’t matter what you have lots of jewelry, a good-looking spouse, great clothes, a pet or any other thing. You will always find yourself with you guessed it yourself![2] What does this mean? It means that unless you learn to find happiness inside yourself, happiness will always be a myth, a desire, but not your reality.

Wisdom to contemplate:

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice!”

(Philippians 4:4)

“Happy the people so blessed; happy the people whose God is the LORD.” (Psalm 144:15)

Note:

If something in this post touched your heart, I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to share your thoughts or your own story in the comments —your voice matters !

also...

I offer Talks and Workshops:

I can come to your school or to your church etc,  the topics would be from any of my posts.

For Ideas Contact Me: carolinaakoglu@gmail.com Subject: Princess in Overalls

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[1] For this thought, I am indebted to Anthony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1992).

[2] Anthony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within.

Let's be little !

Can we go back in time?

Isn’t it a mystery how “little ones” live in a mix between reality and fantasy; never truly sure of what is real? They dream so intensely that when they wake up, they bounce around in joy, trying to replay every detail of their dream. They are convinced that, in fact, they lived through whatever experience they had. These “little ones” are positive that the daydream, vision, illusion or mirage actually happened. I can’t help but wonder: 

• Are these experiences real? 
• Are “little ones” somehow able to actually go to these magical places? 
• Do their imaginary friends really exist? 
• Do angels really come and play with them? 
• Can they see things we don’t? 
• Who are we to say no?

After all, it has been so long since we ourselves were “little ones” that maybe our perceptions have changed. We are so certain of what the limits are that we do not allow room for the unexplained. Our minds quickly disregard our experiences as a dream due to something we ate, or as something for our psychiatrist to explain as coming – because of too much stress.

Our awareness of the extraordinary often fades away as we get older. Maybe because it is then that we start learning about our limits, about what is possible and what is impossible. For the “little ones,” there are no limits to what is possible, only undiscovered frontiers to which they are determined to go. And it is this determination that makes all the difference.

So let’s think for a moment: 

What if “little ones” have a way of entering different “dimensions”? 
What if they are able to experience a multitude of worlds, 
being here and there as they please? 
We should not be afraid of this possibility. After all, are“little ones” fully here yet?

What I mean is that “little ones” are like heavenly beings for whom nothing is impossible. They seem to fluctuate between heaven and earth maybe because when we are little, we have an easier time keeping a strong connection to the heavenly realm and to the unknown dimensions of God’s created universe.

I deeply believe that we should not tuck away the “little one” in us. Why do we have to stop being “little” on the inside? As we grow up, our body changes and ages, we gain knowledge, we become wiser (hopefully!). But the fact that our body and intellect can and will grow does not mean that we must sacrifice the “little one” that we once were. We are all “little ones” deep inside. The problem is that some of us hide that part of us in a deep dark corner and suppress it. Some of us have almost forgotten how to get in touch with that part of ourselves. But we all have been “little” before, so if we allow ourselves to regain contact with the “little one” we once were, we will be free to fully enjoy all the things God intends us to enjoy and to experience all that He has in store for us.

You must be wondering what I mean by “little.” Well, what I mean by “little” is the person, big or small, who:

·   Is keeping alive that side of himself/herself that knows how to trust and love completely…both the people in their lives and God our Father.

·  Does not know ego and does not know how to fake emotions¾what you see is what you get!

·   Is always willing to learn more.

·  Finds joy in simple moments.

·  Is not afraid to love.

·  Is eternally seeking and searching for happiness.

· Is not limited by anything and is not afraid to dream.

If we give value to that side of us, we will have much richer experiences, and we will be able to stay more easily connected to the heavenly realm. We surely will be connected to God our Father by always believing, hoping, enjoying, trusting and allowing ourselves to have a perfect balance between our mind, our body, our heart and our soul a good balance between our humanity and our spirituality. 

When we maintain the connection to our heavenly Father, we can enrich our lives and those of others by shining on them the graces that we receive, sharing the love and the peace that light up our lives. Let’s allow our “littleness” to surface and take over our hearts!

Wisdom to contemplate:

 “Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it.” (Mark 10:14-15)

“Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it.” (Luke 18:17)

Note:

If something in this post touched your heart, I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to share your thoughts or your own story in the comments —your voice matters !

also...

I offer Talks and Workshops:

I can come to your school or to your church etc,  the topics would be from any of my posts.

For Ideas Contact Me: carolinaakoglu@gmail.com Subject: Princess in Overalls