If We Want Help: We Must Do Our Part!

In life, when we go through trials, often we pray. But often we pray with doubt and fear in our heart. These things are the opposite of faith. How can a prayer without faith be effective? When we pray, we must pray with confidence and know that prayers are always heard.

If the answer that comes back is different from what we expected, it does not mean it is not the right one; it only means that there was a better solution to our problem. It is important for us to give the benefit of the doubt, to recognize the fact that we might not always know what the best outcome for a situation is. After all, there is a chance that there can be moments in our life when we might not know the best road to follow. We should not be stubborn, obstinate or inflexible, stuck to a specific idea. We need to trust and be aware of the fact that everything is perfect because God is in charge of our lives.

We must let things flow, with the certainty that in the process we are learning and growing. We must be confident that our prayers are being heard by a loving Father who would never ignore us and who has promised to give good things to those who ask. He reminds us in Holy Scripture: Would we ever ignore the request of one of our children? Now, if we, who have so many faults and defects, are not able to deny our kids anything, then what are the chances that He will ignore our requests? Think about how God is perfect; He is love Himself. Now think about how He has made us, His children. Think about all His promises and about His amazing love. It is simply impossible that He would ignore our prayers.

Therefore, we need to make sure that we understand and know in our hearts that even though at times it might take longer than expected, and even though from time to time our need might be met in a way less than hoped for or anticipated, our prayers are always answered. When we ask for help, we must do it with the absolute certainty that help will come, and we must know that invariably all things will come to us, with our welfare as a first priority.

Jesus said, “Ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” (Luke 11:9) If we pay attention to this scripture verse, we will realize that it requires action on our part. We cannot just pray for something to happen. We cannot just wish things were different. We cannot just sit and hope for something to happen. We need to contribute to the miracles in our lives by asking, seeking and knocking. We need to try our best to make things happen. We must take an active role in our lives and be participants in the miracles that we will experience.

We cannot just passively sit and wait and complain about how we pray and pray and hope and hope and nothing changes. We need to be more involved and take responsibility for the direction our life is going. And we must know that through prayer that direction can always change. It is up to us; it is up to God. Let’s learn how to pray and work on improving our relationship with God. Let’s strengthen our faith and work hard at doing our part. And, as St. Paul advises in Romans 8, let’s hope and eagerly wait with perseverance for the best to happen. I guarantee you that then we can never be disappointed, because hope in God does not disappoint. 



Wisdom to contemplate:

“Learn to savor how good the LORD is; happy are those who take refuge in him.” 

(Psalm 34:9)

“If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20)

“For in hope we were saved. Now hope that sees for itself is not hope. For who hopes for what one sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait with endurance.…We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:24-25,28)

“Hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.” (Romans 5:5)

 “Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)

Is it about the Many Presents? Appreciating people for who they are.

            We must appreciate what we have for what it is and not for what we think it makes us look like. Things outside of us can never make up for defects in what we are inside.

If we are not satisfied with who we are, then we can make an effort to fix it¾to make ourselves a better person. If we can be honest with ourselves and acknowledge our defects, then we can start getting rid of them. The best way to get rid of a defect is to replace it with a virtue.

            Virtue means right conduct.[1] It comes through hard effort and, of course, through asking for God’s grace. A virtue becomes part of who we are as we develop good habits[2] such as thinking before we act, consciously trying to make the best choice in a particular situation, examining our motives/intentions and thinking about the consequences of our actions. We can learn virtue by reading the Bible, by listening to good advice from someone we know is wiser than we are or by reading a good book¾and then acting on what we learn. Thus, virtues are habits that give us the power to do what is right.[3]

On the other hand, if we look around and focus on the defects in the country we live in, the community we share, the institutions we want to belong to or the people we love, if we spend our time complaining about the things we want to change in these other people, we will end up unhappy and probably alone. Sometimes we might not be doing it on purpose. Unconsciously, we might feel better about ourselves if we take attention away from our shortcomings by focusing on the shortcomings of others. But if we continually act this way, we will always end up in conflict, scaring away and hurting those around us.

            Sometimes we think we have fallen in love with someone, and shortly afterward the person changes (gains weight, loses a job, gets a haircut, etc.). Suddenly, we no longer feel as in love as before. We start harassing our partner and blame it on the change. Without realizing it, we become cruel, and furiously we start trying to make our partner change back into the person we had chosen. The other person gets hurt. We might not realize why we are doing what we are doing, or even that we are doing it, but slowly we drive our partner away. Eventually, we find ourselves alone or in a relationship in which love is no longer present. And all of this is because we are looking for a “perfect person” who will surely show everyone how great we really are. We must be great, since we landed such a great catch! Right? Wrong! What a big mistake! In the end, with this attitude, everyone loses, everyone gets hurt.

            Sometimes we want to belong to an organization or a club or maybe even a church, but we don’t quite fit in. Then we go to great lengths to prove to the organization that the problem is theirs¾because, of course, we refuse to accept that the problem is ours. It is much easier to point fingers and accuse the outside world of how it has failed us than to look inside and face how we have failed ourselves. We would rather find a million excuses than come face to face with our “ugly side.”

We need to learn to come to terms with our “ugly side,” our defects. Instead of denying we have them, we need to overcome our defects and say goodbye to them. We need to be honest with ourselves and be able to analyze ourselves as if we were an onlooker. Then we can look at our defects and do something about them because we will realize our defects are only a temporary part of our personality. They are only ours as long as we decide to keep them. Our defects are nothing more than potential areas of improvement, and if we look at them as opportunities to change and grow then we will not get down and depressed about them.  They do not have any power over us, and they do not determine who we are unless we allow them to.

            We also need to understand that this holds true for others as well. We need to learn to dislike the defect, the bad action, the ugly behaviour but not the person. We need to see that the behaviour can change and that the bad action can serve to teach a great lesson to the person. It is the action we do not approve of, not the person. It is the defect we hate, not the person. If we all try to be more honest and gentle when we talk to each other, we can contribute to great changes in each other’s lives. We will help bring out the best in others and ourselves.

             We are imperfect beings seeking for perfection. We have lots of shortcomings, and until we accept this, we won’t be humble, and worse of all we won’t be able to accept others with their defects. We won’t be able to love them as they are and for who they are, without trying to change them.

Let’s pray so that we can appreciate what we have for what it is, not for what we think it makes us look like to others. Let us accept ourselves for who we really are. And let us accept and love others just as they are.

Wisdom to contemplate:

“For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, virtue with knowledge, knowledge with self-control, self-control with endurance, endurance with devotion, devotion with mutual affection, mutual affection with love. If these are yours and increase in abundance, they will keep you from being idle or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. Anyone who lacks them is blind and shortsighted, forgetful of the cleansing of his past sins.” (2 Peter 1:5-9)

“God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6)

“For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.” (Luke 14:11)

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[1] Peter Kreeft, “Justice, Wisdom, Courage, and Moderation: The Four Cardinal Virtues”, Back to Virtue (San Francisco, Ignatius Press, 1986), pp. 59-70.

[2] Iain T. Benson, “Values and Virtues: A modern Confusion”

[3] Tim Gray, “The Virtuous Life is Worth Living: Real Men Choose Virtue”, Catholic Education Resource Centre. http://catholiceducation.org/articles/religion/re0368.html

Happiness is at hand !

I am convinced that half of our problems would go away if only we were able to surrender to the beauty of being alive and being loved by God. Yes, let’s pause for breath and think about all the reasons why we can be happy, instead of all the reasons why we think we are unhappy.  If we just took the time to smile and delight in a simple moment of joy, then we would be able to see that it is in the little things that happiness is hiding. It is in the ability to appreciate the everyday things that we start feeling tranquility and joy. 

• Wouldn’t it be fantastic if we, could find happiness in the simple, sweet moments of our lives? 

• Wouldn’t it be great if, like “little ones,” we were able to seek the sweet juice of life without allowing trivial things to get in the way?

• Wouldn’t it be just perfect if we could stop and make an effort, even if for a minute, to detach ourselves from problems and from the monotony of the everyday and aim for the extraordinary? 

Some of us are just never satisfied, always desiring what we do not have, and this is truly sad. If we only could find happiness in the small things that make our lives unique, then happiness would be in our hearts most of the time. We must stop ourselves if we find ourselves complaining about our circumstances. We must try to wake up asking ourselves:

•            Why is it that we are never satisfied with our situation?

• Why is it that once we achieve one of our goals, we immediately ignore what has been achieved and set our eyes on the next thing? 

• What am I grateful for?  

If we are willing to be like “little ones,” then, like them, we will find a million reasons to be happy and a million things worth enjoying. Big moments in our lives fly by, leaving us only memories. But simple, small reasons to be happy are waiting for us every day! If we can learn to find joy in these little things, and use our memories to boost our morale when we need it, to bring a smile to our lips when we feel we just can’t go on, then it will be possible to find ourselves happy most of the time. And isn’t that what everybody wants?

 To be happy is a choice. It is our choice. Nobody can make us happy but ourselves. Nobody can come and inject happiness into us. Happiness is found inside ourselves. It doesn’t matter where you are the type of house you own, the country you live in, the vehicle you drive, the job you have. It doesn’t matter what you have lots of jewelry, a good-looking spouse, great clothes, a pet or any other thing. You will always find yourself with you guessed it yourself![2] What does this mean? It means that unless you learn to find happiness inside yourself, happiness will always be a myth, a desire, but not your reality.

Wisdom to contemplate:

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice!”

(Philippians 4:4)

“Happy the people so blessed; happy the people whose God is the LORD.” (Psalm 144:15)

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[1] For this thought, I am indebted to Anthony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1992).

[2] Anthony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within.