We have all
gone through some tough breakup or heartache. Actually, any time a relationship
ends, it is very painful, no matter what type of relationship it might have
been. A traumatic experience like this sometimes causes us to act differently,
and maybe we will see a side of ourselves we did not even know we had. We might
act in an irrational way or say mean things. We might cry or yell. We might
break things or throw things. We might even think about taking our lives. When
a situation of great stress arises, when we are faced with the fact that
someone we greatly loved might not love us, it is a moment of great pain. We
may be so distraught that we fall into a depression, lose our job or gain more
weight than we ever thought could be possible.
Unfortunately, these situations do happen, at least
once in our lives. When they do, what we need to do is to find a way to come
out of them, instead of drowning in our own sadness and our own self-pity. We
might feel the situation was unfair. Maybe someone lied to us or used us. Maybe
we feel we wasted years of our lives or we were deceived into believing
something that was not true. In any case, there is no safe way to avoid such
things. All we can do is not let the horrible facts control us, not let
ourselves be immobilized by a situation that has no solution, at least for the
moment.
We need to
remind ourselves that sometimes it is necessary to let some time pass. We need
time to collect our thoughts, analyze the facts and revise our feelings. We
need time to heal and to get used to our new situation. We need to remind
ourselves that we cannot let ourselves collapse. We need to love ourselves
because if we don’t, we will be no good to anyone else. If we take our lives or
if we fall into a deep depression, then who can we help? Who can we love? Who
can we strengthen?
We need to stick around so that we can help others
live through the same types of situations and so that we can encourage those
who feel sad or weak. We can be a rock to others and let them lean on us in
their tough days. Helping others is always a good way to help ourselves. We
need to remember that most radical changes in our lives might not only have
been necessary but might also have been for the best. Sometimes we get so
attached to a person that we cannot let go. By not letting go, we close the
doors to happiness, because we do not allow that person to grow and we do not
allow new people to come into our lives.
So what do we do if our hearts have been broken? We
seek help. We turn to God and ask for His love and mercy. We pour out our
hearts to Him. We allow ourselves to be healed by His loving touch. He is
always there to guide us and lift us up when we fall down. If we draw closer to
God, He will draw closer to us! We need to focus on deepening our relationship
with Him, and then everything will slowly start improving. Only then will we be
able to turn to others. That is the second thing we need to do. We need to ask
for the help of those who love us…maybe a family member or maybe a good friend.
We need to open ourselves up to the help that comes from God through others.
At the same time, we need to remember that God gave us
a brain to help ourselves, and we need to use it. We need to think of ways to
cheer ourselves up. For example, we should turn off those sad love songs and
instead listen to songs of praise and worship. When we praise God, we forget
ourselves, and we open ourselves to His love. We need to get rid of everything
that reminds us of the person who broke our heart, even if it’s just for a
while. We need to box all that stuff up and put it into the closet or throw it
away it makes no difference
which, as long as we get it out of sight. When we feel we are starting to be
overwhelmed by sad memories, we can turn on the TV, or we can call a friend to
talk about anything other than the breakup, or, best of all, we can spend some
time with Jesus.
If we feel as if all the couples in the world are
being happy and loving just to make us miserable, we need to turn our heads there is always another direction to look at. Most
importantly, we need to stay busy. We can motivate ourselves to look better
than ever, pamper ourselves, maybe join a gym. We can focus on school or on
work, be ambitious, think about getting a promotion or a new job, earn a
Master’s degree or a PhD, or simply make it our goal to graduate with honours.
Do you see? It is up to us! We decide if we are going
to collapse and let ourselves go, or if we are going to live through the
disaster and succeed, no matter what. We are the ones who can consciously place
ourselves in God’s hands and allow Him to redirect our lives and heal our
hearts. For us, there should be no other option but that we will live through
it, we will help ourselves and we will be happy again!
Wisdom to
contemplate:
“You are the salt of the earth. But if salt loses its taste,
with what can it be seasoned? It is no longer good for anything but to be
thrown out and trampled underfoot.” (Mathew 5:13)
“You are the light of the world. A
city set on a mountain cannot be hidden.”(Mathew 5:14)
“So humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God,
that he may exalt you in due time.” (1 Peter 5:6)
“Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will exalt
you.” (James 4:10)
