Showing posts with label Sad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sad. Show all posts

Monday, October 20, 2014

Date, Dating, Breaking Up: Can you recognize yourself?

            We have all gone through some tough breakup or heartache. Actually, any time a relationship ends, it is very painful, no matter what type of relationship it might have been. A traumatic experience like this sometimes causes us to act differently, and maybe we will see a side of ourselves we did not even know we had. We might act in an irrational way or say mean things. We might cry or yell. We might break things or throw things. We might even think about taking our lives. When a situation of great stress arises, when we are faced with the fact that someone we greatly loved might not love us, it is a moment of great pain. We may be so distraught that we fall into a depression, lose our job or gain more weight than we ever thought could be possible.

Unfortunately, these situations do happen, at least once in our lives. When they do, what we need to do is to find a way to come out of them, instead of drowning in our own sadness and our own self-pity. We might feel the situation was unfair. Maybe someone lied to us or used us. Maybe we feel we wasted years of our lives or we were deceived into believing something that was not true. In any case, there is no safe way to avoid such things. All we can do is not let the horrible facts control us, not let ourselves be immobilized by a situation that has no solution, at least for the moment.

 We need to remind ourselves that sometimes it is necessary to let some time pass. We need time to collect our thoughts, analyze the facts and revise our feelings. We need time to heal and to get used to our new situation. We need to remind ourselves that we cannot let ourselves collapse. We need to love ourselves because if we don’t, we will be no good to anyone else. If we take our lives or if we fall into a deep depression, then who can we help? Who can we love? Who can we strengthen?

We need to stick around so that we can help others live through the same types of situations and so that we can encourage those who feel sad or weak. We can be a rock to others and let them lean on us in their tough days. Helping others is always a good way to help ourselves. We need to remember that most radical changes in our lives might not only have been necessary but might also have been for the best. Sometimes we get so attached to a person that we cannot let go. By not letting go, we close the doors to happiness, because we do not allow that person to grow and we do not allow new people to come into our lives.

So what do we do if our hearts have been broken? We seek help. We turn to God and ask for His love and mercy. We pour out our hearts to Him. We allow ourselves to be healed by His loving touch. He is always there to guide us and lift us up when we fall down. If we draw closer to God, He will draw closer to us! We need to focus on deepening our relationship with Him, and then everything will slowly start improving. Only then will we be able to turn to others. That is the second thing we need to do. We need to ask for the help of those who love us…maybe a family member or maybe a good friend. We need to open ourselves up to the help that comes from God through others.

At the same time, we need to remember that God gave us a brain to help ourselves, and we need to use it. We need to think of ways to cheer ourselves up. For example, we should turn off those sad love songs and instead listen to songs of praise and worship. When we praise God, we forget ourselves, and we open ourselves to His love. We need to get rid of everything that reminds us of the person who broke our heart, even if it’s just for a while. We need to box all that stuff up and put it into the closet or throw it away it makes no difference which, as long as we get it out of sight. When we feel we are starting to be overwhelmed by sad memories, we can turn on the TV, or we can call a friend to talk about anything other than the breakup, or, best of all, we can spend some time with Jesus.

If we feel as if all the couples in the world are being happy and loving just to make us miserable, we need to turn our heads there is always another direction to look at. Most importantly, we need to stay busy. We can motivate ourselves to look better than ever, pamper ourselves, maybe join a gym. We can focus on school or on work, be ambitious, think about getting a promotion or a new job, earn a Master’s degree or a PhD, or simply make it our goal to graduate with honours.

Do you see? It is up to us! We decide if we are going to collapse and let ourselves go, or if we are going to live through the disaster and succeed, no matter what. We are the ones who can consciously place ourselves in God’s hands and allow Him to redirect our lives and heal our hearts. For us, there should be no other option but that we will live through it, we will help ourselves and we will be happy again!

Wisdom to contemplate:

“You are the salt of the earth. But if salt loses its taste, with what can it be seasoned? It is no longer good for anything but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.” (Mathew 5:13)

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a mountain cannot be hidden.”(Mathew 5:14)

“So humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time.” (1 Peter 5:6)

“Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will exalt you.” (James 4:10)

Monday, September 29, 2014

If We Want Help: We Must Do Our Part!

In life, when we go through trials, often we pray. But often we pray with doubt and fear in our heart. These things are the opposite of faith. How can a prayer without faith be effective? When we pray, we must pray with confidence and know that prayers are always heard.

If the answer that comes back is different from what we expected, it does not mean it is not the right one; it only means that there was a better solution to our problem. It is important for us to give the benefit of the doubt, to recognize the fact that we might not always know what the best outcome for a situation is. After all, there is a chance that there can be moments in our life when we might not know the best road to follow. We should not be stubborn, obstinate or inflexible, stuck to a specific idea. We need to trust and be aware of the fact that everything is perfect because God is in charge of our lives.

We must let things flow, with the certainty that in the process we are learning and growing. We must be confident that our prayers are being heard by a loving Father who would never ignore us and who has promised to give good things to those who ask. He reminds us in Holy Scripture: Would we ever ignore the request of one of our children? Now, if we, who have so many faults and defects, are not able to deny our kids anything, then what are the chances that He will ignore our requests? Think about how God is perfect; He is love Himself. Now think about how He has made us, His children. Think about all His promises and about His amazing love. It is simply impossible that He would ignore our prayers.

Therefore, we need to make sure that we understand and know in our hearts that even though at times it might take longer than expected, and even though from time to time our need might be met in a way less than hoped for or anticipated, our prayers are always answered. When we ask for help, we must do it with the absolute certainty that help will come, and we must know that invariably all things will come to us, with our welfare as a first priority.

Jesus said, “Ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” (Luke 11:9) If we pay attention to this scripture verse, we will realize that it requires action on our part. We cannot just pray for something to happen. We cannot just wish things were different. We cannot just sit and hope for something to happen. We need to contribute to the miracles in our lives by asking, seeking and knocking. We need to try our best to make things happen. We must take an active role in our lives and be participants in the miracles that we will experience.

We cannot just passively sit and wait and complain about how we pray and pray and hope and hope and nothing changes. We need to be more involved and take responsibility for the direction our life is going. And we must know that through prayer that direction can always change. It is up to us; it is up to God. Let’s learn how to pray and work on improving our relationship with God. Let’s strengthen our faith and work hard at doing our part. And, as St. Paul advises in Romans 8, let’s hope and eagerly wait with perseverance for the best to happen. I guarantee you that then we can never be disappointed, because hope in God does not disappoint. 

Wisdom to contemplate:

“Learn to savor how good the LORD is; happy are those who take refuge in him.” 
(Psalm 34:9)

“If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20)

“For in hope we were saved. Now hope that sees for itself is not hope. For who hopes for what one sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait with endurance.…We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:24-25,28)

“Hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.” (Romans 5:5)

 “Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)

Monday, June 23, 2014

Love of animals

            When it comes to animals and love of animals, in my opinion, people are divided into two classes those who are able to experience a profound love for animals and those who can’t and therefore don’t understand the first group. My comments about this last chapter will probably be understood by the people who at least once in their lives have loved an animal, be it a horse, a cat, a dog or any other pet. The other group, those people who have yet to have a special relationship with an animal, will probably just think I am crazy¾but hopefully they will begin to understand those of us who deeply love animals. And maybe they will be more patient and understanding when they see someone who has lost a dear furry friend.

            Some people think animals are animals and they are not meant to be loved, just enjoyed or used for work. Some people believe animals lack the capacity to love and to feel the same emotions humans do. I am not a scientist, and I have not done thousands of hours worth of research about this topic, but I have had many pets, and I have spent long hours with them. Here are my observations.

            Animals have an immense capacity to love us, to forgive us, to understand us and to remain next to us no matter what. My relationships have been with dogs, but I know that the type of animal does not matter; thousands of people are able to enjoy the love of intelligent animals of different species all around the world. The Bible says that animals were made for our companionship and enjoyment, and this is what I believe. And because they are creatures created by God, we must take good care of them.

            In my opinion, being able to love and be kind to an animal is the first step to being able to love a human being. After all, animals are vulnerable, they never answer back, they do not have a concept of revenge, and they always forgive and forget. If we are not able to love such a creature, one that is always ready to love us and to receive our love, then how do we expect to be able to love a human when humans are much more complicated beings?

            The pain that comes from the death of a furry friend is real and deep. When we lose a pet, we need people who are important to us to understand us and give us their support and their love. So, next time someone you love loses a pet,  please remember Ellie, and understand that even if you don’t feel the same way about animals, there are some people who do, and they are in desperate need of your love and understanding.

             A pet can be a confidant to us, a best friend, a companion, our playmate, our pal. When I think of my dog and I try to describe him, I find it impossible. He is a very special creature that God put on this earth for me to take care of and enjoy and love. He is precious to me. When I am sad, he cheers me up; when I am scared, he makes me feel safe; and when I am lonely, he is my great companion. He has been by my side for a very long time, and he holds a very special place in my heart. It will be very hard for me on the day I have to let go of him, the day I am asked to say goodbye.

            Animals never judge us, not by our actions, by our looks, by our personality or by our economic situation. All animals want and care about is for us to love them. If you have not yet had the wonderful experience of owning and loving an animal, I advise you to give it a try. An animal will unlock feelings you never knew you had.  Watch  programs on animals and/or wild life, or read some books on this topic and learn about animal behaviour it will surprise you. Go ahead, because loving animals is a way to start loving our world, and caring for animals is a way to start caring for our environment. Take the first step, and don’t be afraid. The experience you go through  when you love an animal is worth the pain you will feel when you lose the animal.

            We are often too fast to see the dark side of the world. There is so much to love, so much to enjoy, so much to share. Embark upon the adventure that it is to love an animal, and you will see that there are many more sweet moments in life in store for you if you just open your heart to them.

Wisdom to contemplate:

“The LORD God said: ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him.’ So the LORD God formed out of the ground various wild animals and various birds of the air, and he brought them to the man to see what he would call them; whatever the man called each of them would be its name.” (Genesis 2:18-19)

“Ever since the creation of the world, his invisible attributes of eternal power and divinity have been able to be understood and perceived in what he has made.” (Romans 1:20)

Monday, April 21, 2014

Happiness is at hand !

I am convinced that half of our problems would go away if only we were able to surrender to the beauty of being alive and being loved by God. Yes, let’s pause for breath and think about all the reasons why we can be happy, instead of all the reasons why we think we are unhappy.  If we just took the time to smile and delight in a simple moment of joy, then we would be able to see that it is in the little things that happiness is hiding. It is in the ability to appreciate the everyday things that we start feeling tranquility and joy. 

  • Wouldn’t it be fantastic if we, could find happiness in the simple, sweet moments of our lives? 

  • Wouldn’t it be great if, like “little ones,” we were able to seek the sweet juice of life without allowing trivial things to get in the way?

  • Wouldn’t it be just perfect if we could stop and make an effort, even if for a minute, to detach ourselves from problems and from the monotony of the everyday and aim for the extraordinary? 

Some of us are just never satisfied, always desiring what we do not have, and this is truly sad. If we only could find happiness in the small things that make our lives unique, then happiness would be in our hearts most of the time. We must stop ourselves if we find ourselves complaining about our circumstances. We must try to wake up asking ourselves:

  •            Why is it that we are never satisfied with our situation?

  • Why is it that once we achieve one of our goals, we immediately ignore what has been achieved and set our eyes on the next thing? 

  • What am I grateful for?  

If we are willing to be like “little ones,” then, like them, we will find a million reasons to be happy and a million things worth enjoying. Big moments in our lives fly by, leaving us only memories. But simple, small reasons to be happy are waiting for us every day! If we can learn to find joy in these little things, and use our memories to boost our morale when we need it, to bring a smile to our lips when we feel we just can’t go on, then it will be possible to find ourselves happy most of the time. And isn’t that what everybody wants?

 To be happy is a choice. It is our choice. Nobody can make us happy but ourselves. Nobody can come and inject happiness into us. Happiness is found inside ourselves. It doesn’t matter where you are the type of house you own, the country you live in, the vehicle you drive, the job you have. It doesn’t matter what you have lots of jewelry, a good-looking spouse, great clothes, a pet or any other thing. You will always find yourself with you guessed it yourself![2] What does this mean? It means that unless you learn to find happiness inside yourself, happiness will always be a myth, a desire, but not your reality.

Wisdom to contemplate:

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice!”
(Philippians 4:4)

“Happy the people so blessed; happy the people whose God is the LORD.” (Psalm 144:15)

[1] For this thought, I am indebted to Anthony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1992).
[2] Anthony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within.