When it comes to believing...
When it comes to believing, trust your eyes, and trust your gut. So what do I mean by trust your eyes? Well for example you are starting to date a guy, and you are wondering if he is a good choice for you. You are seeing some red flags, and boy they are not good. But every time you think about it, you remember things he has said and you want to dismiss the red flag.
You don't want to over think, you do not want to judge. You want to give the benefit of the doubt. You do not want to make him sad, and you do not want to look paranoid. So, what do you do? You rationalize, you excuse and you find all the reasons why the "red flag" is not really a "red flag".
Or, you decide to bring it up and give him a chance to explain, a chance to apologize etc. What is wrong with that? He or she seems to always have a rational explanation, an apology, they plead for one more chance, and you comply. Is that a wise thing to do you might wonder...is that the best choice of action?
Look: it is easier to finish a relationship that is not right for you - while it is in the early stages.
Yes, the sooner the better. There is less attachment, less pain, less drama, less complication. when it comes to relationships, being a boyfriend, a guy you are starting to date or a friend - trust your eyes! Your eyes don't lie.
If you see "red flags" if you experience bad treatment, if the person acts as if they don't care, if they are no where to be found when you need them, if they don't listen, if they are into themselves, if they fail you time and time again. Trust your experience with them and not your ears! By that, what I mean is:
Do not trust the words they speak, believe your eyes. Look carefully at their actions.
Yes, it's true they might apologize, and they may very well be sorry. They truly might feel bad when they are talking to you. But that does not make a difference. It doesn't really matter, the fact is, you want to find out if they are the right person for you. And while an apology is nice and necessary, the fact might remain that that person might have shown enough evidence that they are not good for you!
People can be sorry, and yet they can still hurt us. People can be sorry, and yet continue their bad behaviour, they might continue to do it again and again.
It is your job to protect yourself. It is your job to actively pursue your happiness. You can forgive, but that doesn't mean that you should continue in the relationship. You can forgive but you should not forget. If we do not learn the lessons that life is teaching us, well we will continue to suffer. And that seems hopeless. And we need hope in our lives. We need to fight hard so we do not end up in a hopeless situation.
Sometimes, we can forgive, but with gentleness and calmness we can still chose to end a relationship. Not because we don't wish the other person well. Not as revenge, not in anger. Simply because we recognize that moving on is the best thing for both people.
Take a big breath, think, pray, and then make your decision.
Remember :
Choose your hard.
Breaking up is hard, but staying with the wrong person is unthinkable!
You can do this! I believe in you! and yes I will be praying for you !
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