Natural: Focus on where you want to go

Fear can be our worst enemy, whether it has a real foundation or it has been invented by our mind. Fear can be disabling, leaving us motionless and unable to function. It can be a devastating force in our life. Our fears are very real to us, and if we do not get control of them, they will control us. Fear can cause much pain and can keep us from doing what we want to do or need to do in a particular situation. Fear is something that we must conquer, and until we do, we will be vulnerable to its attacks, which often come when we least expect them.

            There are many sources of fear. People can inflict fear on us regarding a particular thing we want to accomplish, such as getting a job, getting married, having a baby or trying something new. Fear can also be created in our heads about particular situations, such as our relationships, our job or our health. Fear can also be more abstract, such as fear of one day getting hurt in an accident or fear of having our home invaded by an intruder or even fear of the unseen.

            Regardless of their cause, all fears should be treated the same. The best way to beat our fears is by facing whatever is scaring us and by having faith faith in God, faith in our capabilities and faith in the people we love. Faith is the opposite of fear, and when we have faith, we can break free from fears.

            It is only when our eyes are kept on Jesus that we can face and overcome any kind of obstacle. Remember that when Peter was walking on the water toward Jesus, he was safe as long as he was looking at Jesus; but when his eyes focused on the storm instead, he began to sink. Immediately, Jesus grabbed him by the arm, rescued him and said, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:31)

             The Bible says that “There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18) Sometimes fearful situations can be an opportunity to make us understand that our relationship with God is not where it should be. If we loved Him as we should, we would not be afraid; we would trust Him completely and absolutely in every situation.

            Let us keep our eyes on Jesus. Let’s cast any and every doubt out of our heads. We must know in our hearts that, no matter what the situation, God will see us through! Maybe fear is wake-up call for us to eagerly desire to come closer to our God. The Bible reminds us of Christ’s saving power: “He rescued us from such great danger of death, and he will continue to rescue us; in him we have put our hope (that) he will also rescue us again.” (2 Corinthians 1:10) If we remember these words when fear overtakes us, then we can set our eyes on Him and not on the situation or our circumstances. We can confidently call upon His name and know He will answer us and He will protect us.

Wisdom to contemplate:

 “The lamp of the body is the eye. If your eye is sound, your whole body will be filled with light; but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be in darkness. And if the light in you is darkness, how great will the darkness be.” (Mathew 6:22)

“Even when I walk through a dark valley, I fear no harm for you are at my side; your rod and staff give me courage.” (Psalm 23:4)

“I sought the LORD, who answered me, delivered me from all my fears.”

(Psalm 34:5)

“God is our refuge and our strength, an ever-present help in distress. Thus we do not fear, though earth be shaken and mountains quake to the depths of the sea.” (Psalm 46:2-3)

Fear of the Worst

       

     I am amazed at how many times painful situations can change our lives for the best. I believe it is important to “rejoice always” as the Bible says (Philippians 4:4) and always be grateful to God no matter what. To rejoice means to celebrate, to be glad, to be very pleased.

As we go through life, we sometimes face difficult situations, sad moments and challenging times moments in which what we experience is not what we would have chosen or what we had planned. For example, we can receive bad news, have to say goodbye to a friend or loved one, go through a separation, a divorce or be fired from a job. When these things happen, we find it hard to rejoice, and we might feel it is hard to be grateful to God. At these times, we need to remind ourselves of the importance of being always grateful and ask God to give us the grace to rejoice. As it says in Philippians, we need to “rejoice always”! Not sometimes. Not only when things happen as we wish. Not only when we are happy and we think the situation is fair. Not only when things go our way. No, it says “always.”

It also says “Have no anxiety at all.” (Philippians 4:6) This leaves room for zero anxiety, zero distress, zero sorrow, zero worry and zero fear. But we are humans, biological as well as spiritual creatures. Sometimes our heart aches, our emotions get the best of us, our brain does not understand why things have to change or why things have to be so hard. It is sometimes hard to rejoice or feel grateful. It is human to feel sad. So what are we to do? How can we rejoice always?

            In the Bible, we are advised to do three things: Be grateful, pray and think about the good!

Be grateful. The Bible says we should be “giving thanks always and for everything.” (Ephesians 5:20) Let’s be grateful to God every day, all the time, no matter what, especially when we are not in the mood or when we are weighed down with burdens. Let’s never say, “I can’t be grateful for this or for that.” We can feel grateful because in a bad situation we had the opportunity to learn a lesson or because within a bad situation things could always have been worse. In every situation, we can find something to be grateful for. For example, when someone we love leaves us, we can be grateful that we had the blessing of meeting that person and having had that person in our lives.

To feel grateful, we need to remember two things. First, we need to remember as St.  Francis said that “nothing is ours! Great wisdom will come to us as we meditate upon this thought until we become firmly convinced of it we own nothing. Everything has been entrusted to us for a limited time only.” The chance to share our love with others is a gift from God. Sometimes we get possessive and forget that nothing is ours and everything is God’s. If we have anything even for a limited time, it is thanks to His greatness, kindness and loving heart. It is a gift.

            We are blessed to have all the things we treasure in our lives, all our friends, our family, our children, our opportunities, our experiences, our health, our youth, our intelligence and our skills. But when the time comes to say goodbye, when time is up, we need to let go. We need to keep the good memories, learn whatever lesson the experience left behind, grieve what needs to be grieved and then find the courage to keep on going.

            When God calls for a change in our life and/or in the life of a friend or loved one, we need to be ready to lovingly say: “Yes!” Sometimes we can be like spoiled children, whose parents have taken them to Disneyland and who have a tantrum when the vacation is over and it is time to go home. Instead of saying thank you for all they have enjoyed there and appreciating how good and loving their parents were, these children have a tantrum because they want to stay longer. They disregard the precious gift their parents have given them, and they focus instead on what they can no longer have. Let’s not be like spoiled children. Let’s be loving, obedient children of our heavenly Father.

            The second thing we need to remember in order to feel grateful in every situation is to be humble. Humble means: meek, docile, calm, submissive, obedient, soft and gentle. It is the opposite of being proud and having a big ego. It is the opposite of “I want it my way,” “I don’t want it this way” and “I don’t like it that way.” We can be excited and full of joy at what lies ahead, but we must also be detached from everything and be ready to give it up if necessary. Let’s be meek and humble of heart, like Jesus (Matthew 11:29), so that we can let go when God calls us to let go.

Pray. In order to rejoice always, the second thing the Bible advises us to do is to “pray without ceasing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). In Philippians 4:6, we are called to pray “with thanksgiving.” If we are upset and ungrateful and complaining, then we are not praying with thanksgiving! Once we have a life of prayer, then we can be sure that “the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7) Even if we do not understand why, even if the situation is hard to accept, we must pray and try to rejoice, and then God’s peace will guard our hearts.

Think about good things. The Bible says: “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8) We can manage our brain well and keep our emotions in check, but we need to want to do it, and we need to put effort into it. We must make a conscious choice to focus on all the good we have. We choose where we set your eyes, either on all that is good in our life or on all that is bad. If someone says, “There is nothing good I can think of right now,” we should remember that there is always God’s love to feel happy about. We should never say, “I cannot thank God for this” or “I have nothing to be grateful for.” Instead, as Mother Teresa advised, “we should make a commitment to see every experience, whether good or bad, happy or sad, as a magnificent opportunity to do something beautiful for God.” In the toughest moments we encounter, we give glory to God if we gather the strength to smile and trust and thank, even if that is all we can do.

Wisdom to contemplate:

“And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection. And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body. And be thankful.” (Colossians 3:14-15)

“No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)

If We Want Help: We Must Do Our Part!

In life, when we go through trials, often we pray. But often we pray with doubt and fear in our heart. These things are the opposite of faith. How can a prayer without faith be effective? When we pray, we must pray with confidence and know that prayers are always heard.

If the answer that comes back is different from what we expected, it does not mean it is not the right one; it only means that there was a better solution to our problem. It is important for us to give the benefit of the doubt, to recognize the fact that we might not always know what the best outcome for a situation is. After all, there is a chance that there can be moments in our life when we might not know the best road to follow. We should not be stubborn, obstinate or inflexible, stuck to a specific idea. We need to trust and be aware of the fact that everything is perfect because God is in charge of our lives.

We must let things flow, with the certainty that in the process we are learning and growing. We must be confident that our prayers are being heard by a loving Father who would never ignore us and who has promised to give good things to those who ask. He reminds us in Holy Scripture: Would we ever ignore the request of one of our children? Now, if we, who have so many faults and defects, are not able to deny our kids anything, then what are the chances that He will ignore our requests? Think about how God is perfect; He is love Himself. Now think about how He has made us, His children. Think about all His promises and about His amazing love. It is simply impossible that He would ignore our prayers.

Therefore, we need to make sure that we understand and know in our hearts that even though at times it might take longer than expected, and even though from time to time our need might be met in a way less than hoped for or anticipated, our prayers are always answered. When we ask for help, we must do it with the absolute certainty that help will come, and we must know that invariably all things will come to us, with our welfare as a first priority.

Jesus said, “Ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” (Luke 11:9) If we pay attention to this scripture verse, we will realize that it requires action on our part. We cannot just pray for something to happen. We cannot just wish things were different. We cannot just sit and hope for something to happen. We need to contribute to the miracles in our lives by asking, seeking and knocking. We need to try our best to make things happen. We must take an active role in our lives and be participants in the miracles that we will experience.

We cannot just passively sit and wait and complain about how we pray and pray and hope and hope and nothing changes. We need to be more involved and take responsibility for the direction our life is going. And we must know that through prayer that direction can always change. It is up to us; it is up to God. Let’s learn how to pray and work on improving our relationship with God. Let’s strengthen our faith and work hard at doing our part. And, as St. Paul advises in Romans 8, let’s hope and eagerly wait with perseverance for the best to happen. I guarantee you that then we can never be disappointed, because hope in God does not disappoint. 



Wisdom to contemplate:

“Learn to savor how good the LORD is; happy are those who take refuge in him.” 

(Psalm 34:9)

“If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20)

“For in hope we were saved. Now hope that sees for itself is not hope. For who hopes for what one sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait with endurance.…We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:24-25,28)

“Hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.” (Romans 5:5)

 “Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)

Painful situations can bring us together

Isn’t it ironic how in a blink of an eye our whole life can change? We often have a hard time realizing how lucky and blessed we are when everything in our lives is running smoothly. In one second our life can hang by a thread, in a moment our life can come to an end but we go about our lives refusing to think about it. It is a subject we do not want to address. We hardly ever stop to think about the frailty of our lives and about how much we need God. We end up wasting time in meaningless things and vain pursuits precious time that could have been spent deepening our relationship with God, mending broken relationships, improving ourselves, loving more, sharing more, finding more reasons to be happy and fewer reasons to be sad.

            We do not like to think about these things, but perhaps we should because then we could be somewhat more prepared when hard times come. Oftentimes, it is when we go through hardships that we find out what we are made of. It is then that we are given an opportunity to draw on the grace God has given us, an opportunity to exercise our strength, wisdom, love, patience, kindness and faith. It is in distressing times that we really come to experience the protection and mercy of God. If we can be ready for these tough times, through prayer, then a tragedy, a catastrophe or a great tribulation can be the source of spiritual growth and some of the biggest blessings in our lives.

            Sometimes, no matter how much we have prayed and how ready we think we are to face anything, when a terrible situation comes our way, we feel like St. Augustine when he wrote in his Confessions that he was “appalled at a world that could go on as though our catastrophe had not happened.” We feel drained, we feel frozen, and only hope remains.

            Many valuable lessons can be learned about hope, faith, endurance and strength. One of the greatest lessons is that the driving force behind all of these qualities is love. God has given us human beings an amazing capacity to survive the most heartbreaking moments. The great love of God that unites and that pours out from family members, friends and even strangers becomes the solid foundation that sustains us when we most need it, that great love that many times gets forgotten in the rush of everyday life.

            There are many amazing stories about people who have survived adversity and found it has not only changed their lives but touched the lives of many others as well. These are people who have survived by holding on to hope. Sometimes hope is all we need in order to make it through one more day. And one more day is all we need in order to make it through the rest of our lives¾because each new day brings renewed hope and a renewed understanding that God has given us the strength to endure difficult times and the courage to go on.

            Hope gives us strength when adversity pushes us to the limit. In adversity, hope gives us the ability to open our eyes and see what is really of value in life. Many people’s lives change forever because in hope they find meaning to their suffering. Great difficulties can pull people together, and many times great difficulties can produce forgiveness. Difficult times and problems are part of life, but it is how we choose to see these moments and how we choose to act in these times that will determine if they are in vain or not.

Wisdom to contemplate:

 “Hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the holy Spirit that has been given to us.” (Romans 5:5)

“He rescued us from such great danger of death, and he will continue to rescue us; in him we have put our hope (that) he will also rescue us again.” (2 Corinthians 1:10)

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and God of all encouragement, who encourages us in our every affliction, so that we may be able to encourage those who are in any affliction with the encouragement with which we ourselves are encouraged by God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)