Dates, Dating, Crushes and More...
Well, well, well so you like someone huh? Great! Liking someone is so much fun! Now if you like someone and you think you would like to one day date them? Well, there is something we need to discuss. I have met amazing people. I have met great people in the church, great people at my daughter's University, great friends of my kids etc. Now sometimes someone we know has a great personality, they are even quite cute, and they are interesting BUT they wonder why they are not getting that girl or guy they have a crush on.
I sit and I ponder. Should I tell them why?
It is hard. It is hard to be honest with someone. But often times it is necessary to be honest with someone you care about. I think, I ponder and then I decide to stay quiet. But the person suffers, they are clueless, they don't understand why they are "so unlucky" when it comes to love. Well, since I don't have the guts to tell them face to face, and since it has happened dozens and dozens of times - I decided to write about it. I hope this post while short and to the point will help thousands of humans, here we go.
Simple concept:
No matter how cute you are, how nicely you dress, how rich you are, how smart you are, how funny, what great eyes you have...well no hygiene no luck in dating.
Here is the list:
Clean teeth is not optional. No gunk, and no bad breath. And no people that is not too much to ask! If you ate a pizza and part of the crust stuck to your front teeth and you know it and can see it, TRUST me everybody can see it, and it's not good. Here, let me put it bluntly: it is disgusting. But, you say, I didn't have my toothbrush. Well, I say, carry it with you. You can excuse yourself and quickly go to the bathroom and have a little brushing. But having said that, mouth hygiene is cumulative. You can not expect to never take care of your teeth and then the day you want them clean, you think they magically will be sparkling. Care for your mouth and oral hygiene. I am not talking the colour of the teeth. Different people have different colours, because of different reasons, that is fine. I know people with yellowish teeth that do not have one cavity and whose teeth are the cleanest I know. I know people with white teeth that have gunk on them constantly and that would make someone run. Each day, after each meal: brush your teeth. It is that simple. Once a day, maybe at night, floss your teeth - it's important.
Baths/Showers are not optional. Take a shower every day - period. If you think you stink - you stink! If you stink don't expect people to want to date you. Stench is disgusting and it says a lot about who we are. If we can not take care of ourselves well enough to take a simple shower and stay clean, then how can we take care of anything else? Men are looking for women that can be good moms one day. Women are looking for men that would make good partners and fathers one day. If you can not take care of the most basic thing in your life, keeping yourself clean, then how do you think you come across? And it is unpleasant, and keep in mind stench in the body comes from bacteria. Either your arm pits, your butt, or your personal parts are sweaty or worse, and full of bacteria - SHOWER! Shower and use soap. Soap up the armpits, the butt, and all important parts. Nothing stays without soap. Rub and scrub and then rinse it off. 5 minutes that is all it takes for a new you.
Ear wax yuk!: Every few days you need to clean your ears. Some people use cotton swabs, some people hate them. If you hate cotton swabs, take a small towel and wash your ear with it. Gently massage the nooks and crannies of it. Whatever you do, please do something because the ears collect wax and eventually the wax overflows. There is nothing more gross than to look at someone and when they turn to the side, you see white/yellowy wax gunk on the ear. It is an instant turn off, and instant: NO! An instant: RUN!
Please wash your hair at least every three days. The head can stink and there is nothing worse than a stinky head. Also hair gets greasy and it looks disgusting. If you have dandruff, buy "Head and Shoulders" or put coconut oil or find a solution. Dandruff is an instant put off. Cut your hair every so often and keep it tidy. Nobody likes a slob! There I said it, someone had to!
Clean clothes. You can not expect to never wash your clothes and for them to smell good. You need to understand if your clothes smell bad, YOU smell bad too. Clothes absorb food smells and our bad smells AKA sweat. Please use a T-Shirt no more than two days, one if you stink it up. Pants no more than four days. Here is a great concept: change your underwear every day General rule: If you think your clothes stink, everyone can smell them too! Oh yes! And do not let your clothes sit wet for long periods, that makes them stink terribly. If you forget your clothes in the washer for more than six hours, or when you sniff them they smell, you have to wash them again.
Clothes General. You can't look like a slob. If you want to be attractive try at least a little bit. There is a fairly good looking guy at my daughter's University but he uses thin sweat pants that look like Pyjamas and you can almost see his private parts, no good. Look a clean pair of jeans and a nice T Shirt goes a long way. You don't have to spend millions in clothes just don't be a slob.Your shoes/feet should not stink, here is a general rule if you can smell them - everyone can smell them too.
Try to avid stinky food. I don't care how much you like it ! Stinky food gives you bad breath and it stinks up your clothes including your jacket in the winter. Avoid stinky food.
Check yourself. Not everyone has time to shower every day. But you need to wake up early enough to have time to check yourself. Smell yourself, if you think you stink, you stink! Use baby wet wipes and deodorant or wet a towel and rub. Whatever you need to do, but take care of it. Also look in the mirror. Look carefully at your eyes, make sure there are no eye gunk, or any crust. Even better, maybe you do not shower every morning, BUT you should wash your face every morning and every night before bed. If you do that you should be pretty ok with your face issues. Check your teeth after you eat out, simply excuse yourself and go to the bath room and swish with water and take a look. If they look clean you are good to go.
Face full of pimples. Look pimples are a pain in the neck, I get it. And some pimples we can not avoid. But I am here to tell you that there are many pimples that we can avoid. If I have ten pimples but could have only three - why then chose to have ten! It makes no sense. So here are some tips, wisdom the ages. Do theses things and your life will improve when it comes to pimples. Wash your face every morning after waking up, and every night before going to bed. JUST DO IT! I am trying to help you here, so no discussions, say I am your borrowed advisor/friend. Also pay attention when you got that nasty pimple, what did you eat that was out of the usual? I am gonna tell you some things that 100% give nasty pimples from my experience: Costco pastries, including muffins and chocolate chip cookies. Cheap pastries in general. Cheap Chocolate specially Cadburys, I only eat Lyndt and I am very careful. Certain cheeses, you have to be like a hawk and notice and immediately stop eating the cheese that you guess is the problem. Cheap greasy products, use Olive Oil and butter and Coconut Oil only.
Remedies: If you get pimples. Wash your face. Use a good quality coconut oil at night. Yes you apply it to your face, yes it heals and does not give pimples. Also you can use a dash of Tea Tree Oil mixed with the coconut oil in stubborn pimples. And do not mess with your pimples, not unless they are white and ready to pop, then you gently press them, hopefully not with your nails.
If you want to go an extra mile, pick a nice perfume or cologne, don't use too much of it, just a tad, and go out smelling like heaven. If you don't have money for cologne , no problem. Clean is always the best smell in the world!
Well, these are some tips for you. Change these things and I am pretty sure: your dating life will improve.
Remember we can not always blame the world, change needs to start with us!
OBVIOUSLY: This is to let you know that I am not a doctor or a psychologist etc and my advise is only based on my life experience. My advise is given as a friend would give it to a friend. Simply my opinion.
