Parents Disrespecting the Privacy of their Teens - Is it ever OK ?

I really have a heart for teens.  Many people just dump them into this category of undesirables,  a group of people judged as lost causes.  Many people say: "Well we just need to wait....until they grow out of it", as if they are waiting for a virus to pass.  I disagree.

I love the teen years.  I feel that teens are amazing people that have a lot to offer to the world.  Teens are humans full of love, full of hope, and with a  passion for life.  Often misunderstood, often frustrated by the rejection of adults these beautiful humans suffer in silence, and feel alone.  Teens, those beautiful humans that have so much passion for life, long to love and to be loved, long for understanding and respect, and long for an opportunity to give to the world around them the best they have to offer.  

I have met many parents that are so afraid of the teen years, that they become overbearing and clamp down on all fronts.  These parents let fear set into their hearts, and accept the lie that :  Teen agers are horrible human beings to be controlled at any cost.  And they buy into the fallacy that the only solution, is to treat their teens as the enemy.  

These parents stop listening to their kids and drown their children with unreasonable rules.  Privacy means nothing to them.  They who want respect from the world, offer none to those people they should love most;  their own children.  I know parents who read the private conversations over text on their children's phones, conversations that do not belong to them.  Without permission or any respect, they snoop, spy, and they listen in.  How is it, I wonder, that these parents expect a good honest relationship with their teen, when they themselves are incapable of offering basic respect and trust?

 If you are a teen and you have parents who act this way, please do not despair.  The first thing I would do is pray and ask God to step in.  Ask God to move your parents's hearts and give grace to the situation.  Then I would try to have a serious and honest conversation with one or both parents.  Appeal to their love and explain how you feel. 

If all else fails, be patient, offer it up.  And perhaps most important vow to be different when you yourself are a parent.  Fear can not trump love.  remember what the Bible says:  

" Perfet love casts away all fear"

If your parents are making you suffer you can learn from the situation, so that when it is your turn to be a parent, you are the kind of parent God would like you to be.  A parent full of love and trust and not rule by fear.

If you are a parent, I invite you to pray.  Pray that God will deepen your relationship with your child, so that you can get to know them better.  Pray that God will show you a better way, other than becoming your children's spy, your children's own personal tyrant.  We do not like governments that trample over our rights, but we ourselves trample constantly over our children's rights. 

 That is not love, that can not be. 

 Practice at home what you preach, and have your home be the way you want the world to be like.  

Lets lead our home with trust and love, not fear!

Is the feeling of being "alone" or "sad" hunting you? Hold on...

There is something to look forward to, encouragement right around the corner.  Maybe all you need is a little hope found in the form of inspiration. 

Read this Foreword for the book Princess in Overalls! 

Help is on the way.

"It is rare to find a book that combines the refreshing vision of children and the rich wisdom that comes from experience with life. Princess in Overalls  combines both.  On the one hand, we meet Elllie, the “princess” as she grows from child to mature adult.  On the other hand, we meet Carolina Prada, the author, who captures profound lessons from the events in Ellie’s life.  We also meet important figures in Ellie’s life, her parents Reuben and Anna, and those who entered her life as the years went by.  

Ellie receives many lessons from her parents, lessons structured to her age and experience.  These lessons form, as it were, the basic truths about life that a child and adolescent need to learn.  Carolina then uses these lessons to examine issues importantfor everyone of whatever age.  Most importantly, she presents these lessons from a Christian point of view.  Then, in each case, she quotes passages from Scripture to support and to enrich what she has to say.

What does Ellie need to learn as she grows up?  So many things!  What is fear and how should we conquer it?  How do we relate to others our own age?  How do we relate to those older than we?  How do we react when we encounter people who are unkind and mean?  What dreams shall we form for our future?  How do we know what our role in life is going to be?  What do we do in the face of disappointment?  How do we foster relationships?  How do we face the end of relationships?  How can we recognize that someone is the person we would like to marry?  How do we forgive injuries done to us?

Ellie receives answers to these questions and more.  Carolina moves us beyond a child’s perspective for these questions.  She takes us to a deep level and helps us to see what path will bring us the peace and joy that God wishes us to experience during our lives.  She shows us how close God is to us at each moment and how God loves us.  She also shows how he longs to help us and how he guides us along our way.  We human beings live in a divine milieu:  God is with us.

This book might be called one of “self-help.”  But a much better description would be:  one of divine help.  Carolina shows us that it is by the free gift of grace given to us in Jesus Christ that we can move beyond the self and act in a truly Christian way.  She guides us to see that Christian courage requires us to be kind, gentle, tenderhearted, and compassionate.  She shows that the highest of the Christian values, love, is something far greater and far more challenging than any feeling.  Love is a choice made again and again, both when it is easy to love and when it is hard to love.  Love constantly offers a challenge to rise above the purely natural, to rise above our instinctive reactions, and to make our response one of kindness and mercy.  Carolina shows that to be a Christian is to be someone of courage and valor, someone who insists on the highest level of human behavior, and someone who can envision dreams that become a reality.

This book is a treasure of wisdom for both young and old.  In it readers will find many echoes of events in their own lives.  They will receive guidance on how to prove worthy of the name of Christian.  And they will learn, in their treatment of others, to show the compassionate and loving 
face of Jesus Christ."​

​​​​​​​Dr. Shirley Sullivan, FRSC

​​​​​​​Professor Emeritus of Classics

​​​​​​​University of British Columbia


You can buy the book "Princess in Overalls"  by going to Amazon  and typing the name of the book plus the name of the author : Carolina Prada