Like someone? Flirt with a purpose

In this rather messy world every now and then we meet someone special who grabs our interest.  We befriend them and we invest time and effort in the relationship.  As the relationship progresses we might  find ourselves having feelings for "our friend".  We might  try to ignore it, but feelings have a way of coming out.  And before we know it we are flirting.  

We give some subtle compliments, we let the person know they are somewhat special to us, we try to see them more often.  We don't call this liking.  We don't even allow ourselves to recognize it as liking in our brain, and we suppress what our heart already knows.  We like someone, but we are terrified to acknowledge our feelings.  

Why do we do this? Sometimes we want to let somebody know we like them, but  we simply lack nerve.  Afraid? You  might ask. Afraid of what?  Well, afraid of:  of rejection, of your friends finding out and making fun of you, afraid of the next step, afraid of your parents reaction to your first crush and the list goes on.  Yup, sometimes we are just cowards.  

Sometimes we lack clarity, true, and we really don't  know what is the next step.  But sometimes, the problem is worse, let's be honest sometimes we don't want clarity.  Why?  Because with clarity comes decision making, and decision making is hard business. But we can't forget the other person is a real human being.  Yes, shocking huh?  A real human with feelings, and they deserve honesty and clarity.  You deserve to be honest and clear both to the other person and to yourself.    Just because we refuse to acknowledge  we are flirting, and we call it something else, it does not mean we are being truthful.  We can't have our own definitions for words.  If you call someone a pet name, if you ask them to do something special, if you ask them if they like you etc - newsflash you are flirting.  Just because we refuse to recognize our feelings it does not mean they are not there.

So what can we do? 

Well, stringing people along is not fair, and should never be one of our options.  First people have feelings,  it's unfair and just plain wrong to play with their feelings.  And second, because it eventually can all  blow up on our faces.  We can end up losing that person that was most important to us and that cared most for us.  We all have feelings, we can't be so self involved that we ignore the fact that we might be hurting someone that does not deserve it. 

If we do nothing at all we might miss out on the best thing we had going for us. Often the best things in life are for those who have courage, for humans who are ready to face their fears and insecurities, and take that next step.  

• Guys you need to ask girls on dates! That makes your intentions clear to the girl and yes to your own brain!  
•  Girls don't flirt just to have one more guy in the list of people who like you, that is just vain and cruel.  
• If you are not interested in dating for whatever reason, well say it from the get-go.
• If you have not made up your mind and like more than one human, well then don't act like you are smitten by someone and make them believe that you are into them.  

The problem is not to not be sure, no, that is not the problem people!  The problem is, to not be sure, but act as if you are sure.  Look if you are looking for someone special don't play with people's feelings.  People don't like being played with and they will erase you.  One day you  might just realize that you lost the best thing you had going for you!

Flirt but flirt with a purpose.  

Date but date with a purpose. 

Fall in love but don't fall in love by accident.  

You deserve better and so does she/he!

Am I a crush or a friend?

Clarity Please 

Navigating the waters of liking someone is not easy in the year 2021, and it won't get any easier in the future.  So what can one do?  Well for one, we can try our best to not be part of the problem.  

Do on to others as you would like them to do to you!   Does that age old Bible wisdom ring a bell?  When we deal with people and their feelings we need to be very careful.  It is easy to feel important and get lost in the excitement of the moment.  But we can not lose sight of the fact that it is a person we are dealing with.  Stringing a guy/girl along is not only unkind it is cruel.

If we hate the way others are behaving towards us, we need to start changing the world by having the courage to be the ones to act different.  When someone shows interest or affection for you, cherish them.  It is not every day that someone gets to experience the love or admiration from someone else. Don't be confusing, don't send wrong signals, don't lie with your words or with your body.  Look manipulating people is unkind and simply wrong.  We need to clarify our feelings and intentions when someone shows interest in us from the get go!

If you show affection in any way, if you flirt, if you give hope and then pretend you never did - that is cruel.  I know that if you are reading this you are probably someone who would not purposely be cruel to anyone.  But sometimes we end up getting carried away and acting in an unkind way towards others unintentionally. So we need to pay attention, and live more intentional lives.  

Manipulating people is unkind and simply wrong. If you have someone that is showing you interest or affection:

❤    Be clear and honest from the beginning

❤    Do  not give them false signals, or false hope 

❤    Don't act to your friends as if you have never been interested, specially if it's not true 

❤    Don't talk about the person as if they are dying for you and use them to gain admiration 

❤    Be  a gentleman/ kind woman and do not use others as props to get attention for yourself

❤    Don't lie to yourself, you might miss out in the best thing that ever happened to you.  

       

In summary  look:  if you do have feelings, don't be an idiot lol.  If you don't have feelings don't be a liar.  Please keep this in mind, hearts are fragile and one day it will be your turn.  Be kind, be fair, be extraordinary. 

 Certainly todays times are calling for more extraordinary humans. 

Will you commit to being one?

Parents, Teens and Dating: What do I do?

Guys, girls and feelings... what a dilemma.  You know just yesterday I heard about a girl whose parents will not let her date until she is 23.  She is currently 16.  This girl is not even allowed to like someone.  Now while I understand that her parents love her and only want what is best for her; and while the Bible does call for children to respect their parents, well the Bible also calls for parents to not exasperate their children.  It also says God never gives us burdens heavier than we can carry, and it calls us to be like Him.  So parents should not give their kids rules to hard to follow, or to unreasonable to bear.

Look if you are a teen or a parent reading this, just stay with me.  I am going to make a case for this poor teen.  We  all want someone special, and we all want to love and to be loved.  This poor girl's parents must have forgotten what it was like when they were young.  I remember being only six,  yes people 6 years old and feeling in love with a fellow kindergartener called Luis Ricardo.  We used to hold hands and dream with getting married one day.  Strange story yes,  nevertheless true.  Now did I end up marrying Luis Ricardo, nope, my dad got a job in a different country and we ended up moving there.  My love story with Luis Ricardo ended at the airport when he came to say goodbye with a sweet little teddy bear for me.  

What is my point?  Is my point that six year olds should date?  Nope not at all, if that is what you think you missed the point completely and you need to read more carefully lol.  My point is that any of us at any given time, are capable of having feelings for a special someone.  We are not robots that can be programmed, and we are not in control of when or for who we get romantic feelings for.    Parents are being unreasonable if they think they can try to regulate when their kids can start having romantic feelings for someone.  

I remember also in primary school, and in primary school plenty a kid had crushes and plenty a kid had  girlfriends/boyfriends.  Primary School, that was like over 30 years ago for me  gulp, but it gives you a good point of reference of how things truly have not changed all that much.  Humans are humans and will always be humans.  Wow that was deep lol.  No but for real, no matter the year, no matter the technology the human heart always remains the same.  What we choose to do with the feelings we get might have changed a lot, but that is a topic for a different post, but the feelings themselves have always been the same, from the beginning of time.  

In my opinion parents should try their best to be reasonable, and at least meet their kids half way.  Parents need to make an effort to remember how things were when they were young.  Trying to make unreasonable demands, only makes kids hide things from their parents.  Why?  Because we can't help how we feel, and we will be afraid to share what is in our mind and heart when we know our feelings are being judged harshly.  

So if your parents have unreasonable rules,  try to talk to them.  If that does not work, try to talk to someone in the family or in your group of friends you trust, that can talk to them.  If that does not work, well pray.  God always helps, and if you are patient...and you are respectful, eventually things will get better.

Having feelings is normal.  Acting on those feelings is a whole other thing.  Take your time.   Make God your priority.  Pray and all will fall into place!  

Life is good, God is love and you are extraordinary!  Don't ever forget that!  

<script data-ad-client="ca-pub-6018061501249004" async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>

What good is it to me...?

Princess in Overalls

Do I post the whole book?

Hi!

I want to know if you would like me to post my whole book again.  I used to have it in my blog but then figured it was too long, and I decided to make things easier and shorter for you.  But now with all of us being stuck at home with nothing to do; I though it might be a good idea for me to put the story back up.

Send me your thoughts on that.

Use my email address (light_in_u@yahoo.com) or the comment section to let me know what you think!

Stay holy, stay safe!


Carolina
  

Encouragement for COVID-19

COVID 19 ...our nemesis.  Did any of us imagine when this all started that it was going to last this long?  Hardly.  We have come along way and still no end in sight.  Things can get very tiring, we can feel discouraged and hopeless.  But we can't give in, we can't give up.  We need to move forward and find the strength to continue hoping, praying, and trying to find purpose in these very strange times.  Please watch this video if you feel you need some encouragement.  Please don't forget to press the Like button and Share.  

Do I love? - Looking into myself

We all talk about love, and most of us are serious when we say the world needs more love!  But, do we love as we should?  Do we take responsibility for our part?   Are we failing miserably?  Or are we striving to love more, to love better?  Well one way to find out, is by having a little time at the end of the day or the week to reflect on how we are doing.  Ask ourselves some tough questions....are you up for it?

Here is a great list of questions that will help us see how we are doing when it comes to loving others....to truly loving others.  I advise you to take paper and pen and take some notes.  Take this seriously and you will learn a lot about yourself, you will also be able to make some real changes that can move you in the right direction....to truly love!  I will have these divided into four or five parts...keep your eyes open!  I advise you to not rush through these, read a question and take time to truly ponder it....only then move to the next one.  Get a journal or a pad of paper and take some notes.  Come on get excited and take this seriously, the world needs more love and it starts with us!  This is part 1 !

V"Love is patient love is kind

Am I patient with myself? 

Do I expect too much of myself? 

Do I get angry at myself when I fail? 

Am I patient in prayer? 

Do I stop praying if I don’t get quick results? 

Do I remember to pray for others?

Am I patient with others (family, friends, school)? 

Do I get irritable at other people’s failures or weaknesses, or if they are less quick or clever than I am? 

Am I patient and kind with children, the elderly and the sick? 

Am I patient with those who work with me or for me?

Am I gentle and kind in my speech? 

Do I speak well of others? 

Do I act kindly towards those in a less privileged position than mine?

Do I act kindly towards those in a higher position than me (maybe people I consider more beautiful, more successful, or rich)?

V  It is not jealous, or pompous, it is not inflated. 

Am I jealous of someone else’s good fortune, or success? 

Do I judge people because of their car, their clothes, their home etc (when they have nicer things than me, or more expensive things than me)?

Do I try to keep up with the next-door neighbour? 

Do I boast about my children, my friends, my abilities….about anything else?

Am I affronted if others don’t live up to my expectations? 

Do I expect more of others than I do of myself? 

Do I criticize others so that they lose confidence in themselves? 

Am I complacent about myself? 

Am I hypocritical in the way I live? 

Do I keep on comparing myself with others?

Do I look for praise from others? 

Do I always try to be the centre of attention?

Am I slow to thank, to encourage, to praise? 

Do I bore others by talking about myself? 

Am I conceited? 

Do I stop to give thanks to God…and to those who love me?

Do I bother to listen to others? 

Am I slow to apologize or to admit my faults? 

Do I show my gratitude to God and my fellow men for all they do for me?

Do I include others in my group of friends?

Do I care when others are lonely or feel left out?

V  Love is not rude, it does not seek it's own interests( it is not selfish)

Do I treat others with the respect due to them as persons? 

Do I act as if I don't need anyone?

Do I disparage others with the way I talk to them?

Am I genuine in my relationships with others? Am I ever fake? Do I gossip about them? 

Do I disregard fairness in mind or action? (ex: with those who work for you or with you?) 

Does my language reflect my loving attitude toward others?(what about when you fight and/or are angry?) 

Am I ever arrogant, rough, obstinate or overbearing?(with your friends, parents or husband?) 

Does my character prevent others from speaking? 

Do I inconvenience others by my selfish use of radio…TV…record player etc? 

Do I insist on what I want before thinking about others and what they might want? 

Do I consider the effect that my actions will have on others?

 Am  I inconsiderate? 

Do I try to let others know they mean a lot to me?

Do I take a genuine interest in the needs of the Third World? 

Is my attitude to material things determined by selfish motives? 

Do I use my own and other people’s property with do care? 

Do I ever deliberately hurt another? Do I always find excuses to justify why I hurt them?

Do I seek for my own pleasure at the expense of others? 

Does my selfishness ever lead me to ignore God?

Guest Post- Where Is My Wife

When you are down by Hannah Akoglu

Darkness you refuse to quit? Today a Poem

The bottom of the Lake

Did you sink to the bottom of the lake and like it?

Are you recoverable?

Or Are you Too comfortable, to even try it?

Vulnerable, sinking in terror.

You suffer deep inside

consequences of your own error.

Open wounds full of grit

no end in sight, a path well-lit 🔥

Now deep into this endless pit - 

all because the darkness you refuse to quit!

Darkness like quick sand swallowing you whole.

You justify and excuse

you vilify and accuse

Everything that can save your soul!

Oh, tame servant of control!

Your will, please try to break

This decision you must make.

There is not much more 

your poor soul can take! 

Can’t you see? Your life is simply fake?

Vulnerable now dangerously close to death

Truth you seek- for in the rubble 

every breath a mighty struggle. 

Can’t you see friend you’re in trouble?

Please Swim swiftly and reach for help!

Yet Of hope you are not able

nor of sweet commitment capable.

With your eyes closed Instead 

you dive in this sinkhole of despair!

No longer breathing life's sweet air

Is it so hard to acknowledge?

you’ve been wrong since before college

In the cavern of your mind

Hope cannot be undermined

or neglected for too long

Don’t you know?

Your purpose to God does belong.

See Love can’t be unexpected

If your thirst is well directed

Death to pride could save your soul

You just need this to decide

If your life is redirected

Run away, have a new goal

Your enemies’ constant demands

too much for you to withstand!

Self-reliance, fear and insecurity.

Pride, lust, anger and impurity.

I desperately want to say

Someone your soul wants to save.

But You are drowning with a purpose,

I wonder will stop and try to stay?

Will you pause and try to pray?

Hold His hand

his angels immediately he will command

To help you and lift you

And take and free you

out of the land of the damned!