So how do you know who is the one?

                                     

Is this Love that I’m Feeling?

I have been asked the question, “How do you know who is the one your soul mate, your other half, the person who completes you, the one you are meant to be together with for the rest of your life?” 

         Well, although it is very hard to know who is “the one,” it is easier to know who is “not the one.” We must have a clear idea in our heads of what traits we just cannot accept in that person whom we could potentially fall in love with. We must know the “absolute nos.” We must have criteria for what characteristics are just not acceptable to us, but we need to be realistic and honest with ourselves. For example, for some, it might be a person who:

Ø  Is aggressive or shows any kind of harsh behavior toward us or toward other people

Ø  Drinks too much, does drugs and/or frequently gets into trouble

Ø  Cheats or refers to the opposite sex in a disrespectful manner

Ø  Is too much of a flirt with other people

Ø  Treats us badly in front of others or humiliates us

Ø   Only tells us our defects, frequently trying to put us down

Ø  Lies

Ø  Has major psychological problems

Ø  Has no values: steals, breaks the law, deals drugs, engages in extramarital sex, etc.

Ø  Is not physically attractive to us

Ø  Is very different in cultural background, social background, economic status, etc.

Ø  Practices a different religion or has no belief in God

Ø  Has priorities very different from ours

Ø  Makes his job his main priority

Ø  Wants attention at any cost

Ø  Humiliates and disrespects others

Ø  Annoys us often

This is not discriminating against anyone or being prejudiced against someone. We can have someone as a friend, we can be there if that person needs us, but we can decide not to date that person. If we find things about a person that we feel we cannot live with, and we do not want to deal with such things in a long-term relationship or even for the rest of our lives then we must try to avoid a situation that could bring us to the point of no return.

It is not a good idea to get into a relationship, especially a marriage, thinking that we are going to change the other person. Before a relationship starts, before we make a decision that might affect the rest of our lives and the lives of those people around us, we need to discern if this is a person we want to date or not.

 There is nothing wrong with knowing what we can tolerate and what we cannot tolerate in someone who could become our spouse, nothing wrong with knowing what we can live with and what we cannot. We need to determine how much we can compromise in a particular area and in what areas we just cannot compromise. From the beginning, we need truthfulness, with ourselves and with others. If we are not honest, we are setting ourselves up for failure and unhappiness. No honesty no success.

         

At the same time though, we need to be open and have faith.  We have to be careful and make sure we are not trying to limit God. A humble heart goes a long way! We need to understand that we do not know everything and that God by His love and grace can change anyone.  So we need to leave room to the possibility that maybe we do not know what is best for us, or who is best for us.  We need to trust God completely and know that He can change anyone including us, and that He has a perfect plan and purpose for our lives although we might not completely see it or understand it at different points in our lives.  If we limit ourselves by a set list of qualities, especially when that list includes physical attributes or certain personality traits like:  funny, outgoing, cool, upbeat or so many other things. Then we need to ask ourselves - am I really trusting that God knows better?  Do I trust that nothing is impossible for God? Everything is possible for those who hope in the Lord!

Wisdom to contemplate:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

“Let love be sincere; hate what is evil, hold on to what is good.” (Romans 12:9)

Hold on....help is on the way

I am aware people from all over the world are looking at this blog, and I feel blessed.   I want you to know - I already care for you!  Yes you....you in China....you in Israel....you in Poland.....you in Dominican Republic....you in the USA....you in Costa Rica....you in Canada and so many more.  We have one heart...


I want you to know, that I know there are moments in which you feel like you have no one.   No one who understands you, no one who can help you , no one who knows you in the depths of your heart.  I know that all too often you feel alone, regardless of how many people are around you.  Sometimes it is even worse when we have friends and family, but they seem not to get us! They seem not to know us, sometimes they seem to not even like us.


So yes, to you who have been visiting this blog I want to say....hold on help is on the way!  I will put summaries of my book here, for you to read for free.  Princess in Overalls will help you and inspire you.  The reason for the delay is that I left my files of Princess in Overalls at home and right now I am traveling.  It will take me a little time to get it all figured out.  I think I will be re-typing my book, just for you.


Yes you, you who still hope, you who need encouragement, you who are sad, you who are lonely, you who need advise, you who need a friend.  You who have been brought to Princess in Overalls.

I am here for you so remember:   hold on....help is on the way.

Time to say goodbye - Isn't it Time to Say Goodbye to Jealousy?

 Isn't it Time to Say Goodbye to Jealousy?

Mother Teresa used to say that to be kind means giving much more than material things.   Do you agree?  I do.  For example, it can mean giving a smile, offering an encouraging word and sharing someone else’s joy. But don't you think that in order to share in someone else’s happiness first  we need to get rid of the jealousy that sometimes arises in our hearts?

            When we are jealous, we are unable to feel happy for others, and many times, instead of giving a compliment or praise, we sometimes end up spoiling another person’s happy moment by doing or saying something mean. Jealousy is like a disease that sometimes creeps inside us without us realizing it. 

How do we know for sure if what we feel is jealousy? Do a self-check! If we have a feeling of sadness, even if it is slight or deep inside, at the sight of another person’s material or personal achievement, then we have been bitten by the jealousy bug!

1. Am I bitter about someone else’s good fortune or success?
2. Do I always try to keep up with my neighbour? 
3. Do I criticize others so that they will lose confidence in themselves and so that I will look better? 
4. Do I keep comparing myself to others? 
5. Am I always looking for praise from others, and if someone else receives praise, does it bother me? Am I slow to thank, to encourage or to praise? 
6. Am I able to feel genuine happiness when someone else gets something I wanted?

Where does jealousy come from? It often comes from pride we think we are better than others and that we deserve more than they do. Other times, it is the result of our insecurity we desire to have what is not ours, and we unjustly want what rightly belongs to another.

How do we stay away from this dangerous virus? For starters, we must be honest with ourselves. We need to be constantly checking if there is even the slightest trace of jealousy inside our hearts when others are: more fortunate, richer, thinner, more successful, more beautiful, more loved, more popular, healthier or happier than we are. 

• For us to be happy about our own lives, we do not need to prove that other people’s lives are miserable. 
• For us to have faith in our own path, we do not need to prove someone else’s path is wrong. 
• For us to be secure, we do not need to make someone else insecure. 

           An old proverb says that happiness shared doubles.  Let’s seek to always share one another’s joy, because this will make us better people. It will strengthen and encourage us. And it will help us feel happy no matter what. If we rejoice in other people’s progress, we will immediately feel uplifted ourselves. If we let other people’s successes be our successes, others’ blessings will be our blessings, others’ joy our joy. So, be happy for your coworker’s promotion, your colleague’s new car, your old school friend’s good-looking spouse, your friend’s growing business, your cousin’s scholarship! A person who is able to feel happy for others is able to be happy most of the time.

Wisdom to contemplate:

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Have the same regard for one another; do not be haughty but associate with the lowly; do not be wise in your own estimation.” (Romans 12:15-16)



Is the feeling of being "alone" or "sad" hunting you? Hold on...

There is something to look forward to, encouragement right around the corner.  Maybe all you need is a little hope found in the form of inspiration. 

Read this Foreword for the book Princess in Overalls! 

Help is on the way.

"It is rare to find a book that combines the refreshing vision of children and the rich wisdom that comes from experience with life. Princess in Overalls  combines both.  On the one hand, we meet Elllie, the “princess” as she grows from child to mature adult.  On the other hand, we meet Carolina Prada, the author, who captures profound lessons from the events in Ellie’s life.  We also meet important figures in Ellie’s life, her parents Reuben and Anna, and those who entered her life as the years went by.  

Ellie receives many lessons from her parents, lessons structured to her age and experience.  These lessons form, as it were, the basic truths about life that a child and adolescent need to learn.  Carolina then uses these lessons to examine issues importantfor everyone of whatever age.  Most importantly, she presents these lessons from a Christian point of view.  Then, in each case, she quotes passages from Scripture to support and to enrich what she has to say.

What does Ellie need to learn as she grows up?  So many things!  What is fear and how should we conquer it?  How do we relate to others our own age?  How do we relate to those older than we?  How do we react when we encounter people who are unkind and mean?  What dreams shall we form for our future?  How do we know what our role in life is going to be?  What do we do in the face of disappointment?  How do we foster relationships?  How do we face the end of relationships?  How can we recognize that someone is the person we would like to marry?  How do we forgive injuries done to us?

Ellie receives answers to these questions and more.  Carolina moves us beyond a child’s perspective for these questions.  She takes us to a deep level and helps us to see what path will bring us the peace and joy that God wishes us to experience during our lives.  She shows us how close God is to us at each moment and how God loves us.  She also shows how he longs to help us and how he guides us along our way.  We human beings live in a divine milieu:  God is with us.

This book might be called one of “self-help.”  But a much better description would be:  one of divine help.  Carolina shows us that it is by the free gift of grace given to us in Jesus Christ that we can move beyond the self and act in a truly Christian way.  She guides us to see that Christian courage requires us to be kind, gentle, tenderhearted, and compassionate.  She shows that the highest of the Christian values, love, is something far greater and far more challenging than any feeling.  Love is a choice made again and again, both when it is easy to love and when it is hard to love.  Love constantly offers a challenge to rise above the purely natural, to rise above our instinctive reactions, and to make our response one of kindness and mercy.  Carolina shows that to be a Christian is to be someone of courage and valor, someone who insists on the highest level of human behavior, and someone who can envision dreams that become a reality.

This book is a treasure of wisdom for both young and old.  In it readers will find many echoes of events in their own lives.  They will receive guidance on how to prove worthy of the name of Christian.  And they will learn, in their treatment of others, to show the compassionate and loving 
face of Jesus Christ."​

​​​​​​​Dr. Shirley Sullivan, FRSC

​​​​​​​Professor Emeritus of Classics

​​​​​​​University of British Columbia


You can buy the book "Princess in Overalls"  by going to Amazon  and typing the name of the book plus the name of the author : Carolina Prada