Happiness is at hand !

I am convinced that half of our problems would go away if only we were able to surrender to the beauty of being alive and being loved by God. Yes, let’s pause for breath and think about all the reasons why we can be happy, instead of all the reasons why we think we are unhappy.  If we just took the time to smile and delight in a simple moment of joy, then we would be able to see that it is in the little things that happiness is hiding. It is in the ability to appreciate the everyday things that we start feeling tranquility and joy. 

• Wouldn’t it be fantastic if we, could find happiness in the simple, sweet moments of our lives? 

• Wouldn’t it be great if, like “little ones,” we were able to seek the sweet juice of life without allowing trivial things to get in the way?

• Wouldn’t it be just perfect if we could stop and make an effort, even if for a minute, to detach ourselves from problems and from the monotony of the everyday and aim for the extraordinary? 

Some of us are just never satisfied, always desiring what we do not have, and this is truly sad. If we only could find happiness in the small things that make our lives unique, then happiness would be in our hearts most of the time. We must stop ourselves if we find ourselves complaining about our circumstances. We must try to wake up asking ourselves:

•            Why is it that we are never satisfied with our situation?

• Why is it that once we achieve one of our goals, we immediately ignore what has been achieved and set our eyes on the next thing? 

• What am I grateful for?  

If we are willing to be like “little ones,” then, like them, we will find a million reasons to be happy and a million things worth enjoying. Big moments in our lives fly by, leaving us only memories. But simple, small reasons to be happy are waiting for us every day! If we can learn to find joy in these little things, and use our memories to boost our morale when we need it, to bring a smile to our lips when we feel we just can’t go on, then it will be possible to find ourselves happy most of the time. And isn’t that what everybody wants?

 To be happy is a choice. It is our choice. Nobody can make us happy but ourselves. Nobody can come and inject happiness into us. Happiness is found inside ourselves. It doesn’t matter where you are the type of house you own, the country you live in, the vehicle you drive, the job you have. It doesn’t matter what you have lots of jewelry, a good-looking spouse, great clothes, a pet or any other thing. You will always find yourself with you guessed it yourself![2] What does this mean? It means that unless you learn to find happiness inside yourself, happiness will always be a myth, a desire, but not your reality.

Wisdom to contemplate:

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice!”

(Philippians 4:4)

“Happy the people so blessed; happy the people whose God is the LORD.” (Psalm 144:15)

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[1] For this thought, I am indebted to Anthony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1992).

[2] Anthony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within.

So how do you know who is the one?

                                     

Is this Love that I’m Feeling?

I have been asked the question, “How do you know who is the one your soul mate, your other half, the person who completes you, the one you are meant to be together with for the rest of your life?” 

         Well, although it is very hard to know who is “the one,” it is easier to know who is “not the one.” We must have a clear idea in our heads of what traits we just cannot accept in that person whom we could potentially fall in love with. We must know the “absolute nos.” We must have criteria for what characteristics are just not acceptable to us, but we need to be realistic and honest with ourselves. For example, for some, it might be a person who:

Ø  Is aggressive or shows any kind of harsh behavior toward us or toward other people

Ø  Drinks too much, does drugs and/or frequently gets into trouble

Ø  Cheats or refers to the opposite sex in a disrespectful manner

Ø  Is too much of a flirt with other people

Ø  Treats us badly in front of others or humiliates us

Ø   Only tells us our defects, frequently trying to put us down

Ø  Lies

Ø  Has major psychological problems

Ø  Has no values: steals, breaks the law, deals drugs, engages in extramarital sex, etc.

Ø  Is not physically attractive to us

Ø  Is very different in cultural background, social background, economic status, etc.

Ø  Practices a different religion or has no belief in God

Ø  Has priorities very different from ours

Ø  Makes his job his main priority

Ø  Wants attention at any cost

Ø  Humiliates and disrespects others

Ø  Annoys us often

This is not discriminating against anyone or being prejudiced against someone. We can have someone as a friend, we can be there if that person needs us, but we can decide not to date that person. If we find things about a person that we feel we cannot live with, and we do not want to deal with such things in a long-term relationship or even for the rest of our lives then we must try to avoid a situation that could bring us to the point of no return.

It is not a good idea to get into a relationship, especially a marriage, thinking that we are going to change the other person. Before a relationship starts, before we make a decision that might affect the rest of our lives and the lives of those people around us, we need to discern if this is a person we want to date or not.

 There is nothing wrong with knowing what we can tolerate and what we cannot tolerate in someone who could become our spouse, nothing wrong with knowing what we can live with and what we cannot. We need to determine how much we can compromise in a particular area and in what areas we just cannot compromise. From the beginning, we need truthfulness, with ourselves and with others. If we are not honest, we are setting ourselves up for failure and unhappiness. No honesty no success.

         

At the same time though, we need to be open and have faith.  We have to be careful and make sure we are not trying to limit God. A humble heart goes a long way! We need to understand that we do not know everything and that God by His love and grace can change anyone.  So we need to leave room to the possibility that maybe we do not know what is best for us, or who is best for us.  We need to trust God completely and know that He can change anyone including us, and that He has a perfect plan and purpose for our lives although we might not completely see it or understand it at different points in our lives.  If we limit ourselves by a set list of qualities, especially when that list includes physical attributes or certain personality traits like:  funny, outgoing, cool, upbeat or so many other things. Then we need to ask ourselves - am I really trusting that God knows better?  Do I trust that nothing is impossible for God? Everything is possible for those who hope in the Lord!

Wisdom to contemplate:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

“Let love be sincere; hate what is evil, hold on to what is good.” (Romans 12:9)

Cruel Kids - Have you been bullied?

Cruel Kids?

Have you been bullied?  Many kids have.  Kids can be cruel sometimes, bruising their peers in the most profound way, shattering their self-confidence, making them feel miserable, utterly disappointed and troubled. Isn’t it ironic, that it is only after growing up a bit that we start becoming aware of our looks? I don’t think many parents realize the importance of teaching their children to be kind. And I don’t think many parents realize how much a child can suffer in school. In some people’s opinion, children don’t have problems, only adults. But this is not true. Everything is proportional to the person experiencing it. For little children, a problem that can seem trivial to an adult can deeply hurt their feelings and leave them heartbroken.  

Not everybody is nice in the world, but that that does not mean everybody is mean. Not everybody is nice in the world, but that is no reason to join them. There will always be mean people, jealous people, angry people, bitter people and envious people in our lives. But there will always be good, kind, friendly, compassionate, caring people, too. So, we must open our eyes and search for the people who are worth our while, instead of getting disappointed thinking that people are all bad. By giving a chance to others, we are really giving a chance to ourselves.

It is important to make sure we do not become infected by bitterness or become mean ourselves. We must make an effort to always be excellent, no matter how hard things get. When someone says something to us, we have to know it is not a fact, but just a disputable opinion that person has about us. We should not let it bother us. An opinion is just a guess, a supposition, a generalization somebody makes about us. It is harmless unless we allow it to become important, since it will not be true unless we make it true.

• Why give people or words an importance that they do not deserve?
• Why do we insist on being offended by what other people say?
• Who cares what someone else calls me if I know who I am for real? 
• Why should it be such a tragedy to be called a name? Who cares? 
• Why do we insist on giving so much importance to other people’s opinions of us? 

  

We cannot change certain people, but we can ignore them. We cannot change certain people, but we can always change ourselves. Let’s therefore focus on ourselves that we may be stronger and turn into better people, so that we can keep a good equilibrium in this world bringing to it goodness and love. Let’s make a point out of becoming more confident. To be sure of ourselves is one of the most valuable lessons we will ever learn, and it is never too late. Let’s make it our goal to find reasons to be happy instead of reasons to be offended. Let’s make it our life’s task to learn to be less mean. After all, after a while the mean people may get tired of being mean, and after a while being nice and kind becomes contagious.

We all have encountered at some point in time someone trying to hurt us. Let’s be more confident inside from now on, remembering that anything anybody says about us is just their opinion. 

Wisdom to contemplate:

“Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer.” (Romans 12:12)

Continue your kindness toward your friends, your just defense of the honest heart. Do not let the foot of the proud overtake me, nor the hand of the wicked disturb me.” (Psalm 36:11-12)