New Trend? Why hurt yourself?

Mental Anguish and a Side of Anxiety?

It breaks my heart how often teens and young adults talk about suicide and hurting themselves. Deep pain, loneliness, and spiritual isolation are drowning hundreds of souls. I hear so many stories filled with darkness, despair, emptiness, and hopelessness. Thoughts of suicide and urges to self-harm flood the minds of those who feel rejected and unloved—wounded by social media, school interactions, and the absence of real, meaningful relationships.

What do we do when we’ve been hurt beyond what we think we can bear?
What do we do when it feels like we have no strength left?
What do we do when we’re convinced that nobody cares?

What can we do in this age of isolation to feel better?

Let me tell you what we don’t do: we don’t hurt ourselves. That is never the answer.
The answer is in finding God.
The answer is in calling on the name of Jesus Christ.

The Bible says:

“Draw close to God, and He will draw close to you.” – James 4:8
“God is faithful, and He will not let you be tried beyond your strength.” – 1 Corinthians 10:13
“Ask and you shall receive; seek and you shall find; knock and the door will be opened.” – Matthew 7:7–9

So... what do we do?

We make a decision.
We take the first step.
We open our hearts to the love and goodness of Jesus Christ.

Alone, we can do nothing. But with Him, all things are possible!

So, do not despair.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.” – Proverbs 3:5–6

Believe.

God can change your life in a moment. He is the healer, the giver of life. He will never fail you, never leave you, never abandon you.

But maybe you feel like He did leave you.
Maybe you’re wondering where He is.

Well—sometimes we are the ones who leave Him.
Sometimes we turn our backs on Him.
Sometimes we need to take responsibility, repent of our sins, and turn away from the things that harm us.

You may be feeling the weight of past choices, like:

– Listening to harmful music: Some music can pull you into depression and surround you with darkness. Be careful what you allow into your ears and heart.
– Watching dark or depressing movies: Media has power. Avoid anything that fills your spirit with sorrow, worthlessness, or fear.
– Choosing the wrong friends: In some cultures, there’s a saying: "Better to be alone than in bad company." A toxic friend can drag you down, betray your trust, or influence you to make destructive decisions. You don’t need a crowd. You need Jesus—and maybe just one good person: a true friend, a family member, a teacher, priest, or pastor.

Make up your mind today:
Suicide and self-harm are NOT options.
Remove those words from your vocabulary. They don’t belong in your life. Ever.

If you’ve ever had those thoughts or acted on them, repent.
Turn away from that pain and toward God’s healing.

Have a change of heart.
A change of mind.
A change in direction.

And always remember:

God can make all things brand new.

Pray for a good person to come into your life—someone you can trust. God will provide.
Avoid toxic people as much as possible, and protect your heart. Don’t share your secrets with those who won’t value them.

Most of all, know that I’m praying for you.
And if you ever need someone to talk to, email me at: light_in_u@yahoo.com
Or message me on Instagram: @sacredheartrosaries

I’m here for you.
With love,
Princess in Overalls

Love so Tender - Love Bombing?

                                                       Love Bomb?  Be Strong!

Go Slow — A Word of Warning About Love Bombing

When I was 15 years old, there was a guy who liked me—a lot. He was not a good choice for me, and deep down, I knew it. But this guy—let’s call him Dan—was relentless. He pursued me intensely.

One day, he parked his car in front of my house, blasted a trendy song, and started dancing while facing my bedroom window. He pressed both hands to his heart and then pointed at my room. Other times, he would show up with gifts—and I mean a whole Bloomingdale’s bag full of perfume, swimsuits, and more. He wrote love letters and declared his love for me daily.

To anyone watching, it probably looked like he was madly in love. But in between these displays of “true love,” he would flirt with other girls—and I mean flirt hard. Sometimes, he even put me down. He’d say things like, “You chew gum like a cow,” or that I had “lizard lips” and needed filler, or that I was “too pale” and should get a tan.

At the time, I didn’t know anything about narcissism. I was kind of smitten—he was rich, handsome, and gave me so much attention. But looking back now, it’s clear: he was a narcissist (there’s more to the story, trust me), and I had fallen for his love bombing.

Now that I’m a mom, I wish I could say it’s gotten easier to spot a love bomber. But the truth is, it hasn’t. When someone—whether a guy or a girl—comes on strong with attention, words of affirmation, and extravagant gifts, it’s incredibly hard to resist.

But resist we must.

We need to take relationships slow. We need time to truly get to know people—their intentions, their character. My parents used to say that in the first year of dating, it’s wise not to accept major gifts—only small things like chocolates, flowers, or a stuffed animal. Even after a year, they advised against accepting anything expensive, like jewelry or a trip. They believed (and they were right!) that big gifts create complicated emotional ties. You feel obligated. You feel like you owe something.

And that’s a fair point, don’t you think?

So here’s the truth:

When you like someone or are starting a new relationship—go slow.

When in doubt—go slow.

When you see a red flag—go even slower.

Time is the great revealer of a person’s true intentions. Anyone can say beautiful things—just ask ChatGPT (and honestly, Chat is pretty amazing). And anyone—especially someone wealthy—can buy expensive things to impress.

But in the end, it’s not the gifts or the sweet words that matter most.

It’s the actions.

Actions speak louder than gifts and words.

Come on—you can do this.
Be strong.
And know that I’m praying for all of you.

I love my readers! 

Narcissists CAN change - Yes!

 Change...possible for all

I have heard so-called "experts" say that narcissists will never change. But is that true? If it is, I don't know about you, but I would feel hopeless. After all, in today’s world, narcissists seem to be everywhere. It could be a daughter, a son, a husband, a friend, a mom, a dad, a boss—you name it. Some of these people are in our lives to stay. And some, despite the pain they cause, are people we love dearly. Even though we suffer, we would never choose a life without them.

So what do I think about narcissists? Well, I believe that when we have one in our life and we've never heard of narcissism, it can be soul-crushing. The gaslighting, the name-calling, the minimization, even humiliation. The constant reminder that they are, in their eyes, better than us in everything—smarter, more capable, more knowledgeable in any area, from medicine to technology to housekeeping. They can be dismissive, offensive, manipulative, egocentric, selfish, and lack empathy. The list goes on.

Not being aware of narcissism limits our ability to understand what’s happening and learn how to deal with it. So learning about it is not just helpful—it’s necessary.

But what if we are the narcissist?

What if a narcissist becomes aware of their behavior? What if they are convicted by their own life? If that’s you, I have good news: Please don’t believe the lie that you cannot change.

With God, all things are possible.

Jesus can make us new. It won’t be easy, but it is possible.

Think of it like an addiction. We become so used to certain selfish behaviors that they feel like part of who we are. We’ve excused our lying and manipulating, our blaming and minimizing, for so long that we feel we can’t stop. But even alcoholics and drug addicts have hope.

Like an alcoholic, the first step is recognizing that we are powerless on our own. We need to see how we’ve hit rock bottom. Our behavior has alienated, hurt, and scared away people we love.

Like an alcoholic, we need to acknowledge that our ways have only caused pain—to ourselves and to others. And like an alcoholic, we must recognize that we will be in recovery for life.

But there is hope.

With prayer, with effort, with a conscious awareness of our actions—we can change.

Indeed:

With God, all things are possible.

Take courage and take the first step!

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If you like this blog, read the book "Princess in Overalls" it can be found in Amazon if you search using my name plus the title.  

Also make sure you check out : sacredheartrosaries.ca made by the author with love !

Mental Prison? If you have a narcissist in your life, just let them!

What to Do When the Narcissist’s Mask Comes Off

So, how do narcissistic people mess with our minds? The answer is simple: in so many ways, they leave our heads spinning. And honestly, it would be funny if it wasn’t so heart-crushing. A narcissist will gaslight us, lie, manipulate, dismiss us, minimize our feelings, break our hearts, and more. It can be frustrating, exhausting, and just downright maddening to have a narcissist in our lives.

Now, you may be wondering, what exactly do I mean when I say "narcissist"? Well, let’s break it down:

Narcissistic People:

• Always looking for ways to create an advantage for themselves in any situation (it's all about them, after all).
• Lack empathy (their motto: Who cares about your feelings?).
• Live in a world of grandiosity and egocentricity—they’re always the star of the show.
• Selfish to the core (don’t expect them to share the spotlight).
• The “Grandiose Narcissist” parent is always desperate to be liked and will go to great lengths to make sure they are adored.
• Master of deflection—it’s never their fault, always someone else’s.
• Validation-seeking (they need constant praise, like always).
• Arrogant, thinking they know more than experts in any field.
• Constantly criticize others while invalidating or minimizing your accomplishments.
• Generous... as long as it makes them look good (it’s about them again, isn’t it?).
• A know-it-all (if you don’t know something, they’ll be happy to tell you why they’re right).
• Even with many perks, they’ll constantly feel they aren’t getting the recognition they “deserve”.
• Not very grateful—they’re entitled to everything done for them.
• Occasionally shames or insults their own child (nothing says love like a passive-aggressive comment, right?).
• Dismissive of other people’s efforts (nothing you do is ever good enough).
• Never satisfied or content with anything—this manifests as constant criticism, complaining, anger, frustration, and contempt. It’s like living in a storm cloud, and guess who’s always the lightning rod?
• Always sees themselves as better—they’re the king or queen, and the rest of us are just... peons.
• The grandiose narcissist might even tell you to your face that you’re stupid and that they know everything. Don’t take it personally, it’s just how they roll.
• They’re judgmental, critical, and argumentative (a never-ending debate, with them always winning, of course).
• Insecurity is at their core—don’t let their bravado fool you.
• Chronic dissatisfaction, especially at work—there's always someone or something to blame.
• As parents, they flip-flop between competing with their child and seeing them as an extension of themselves (so if your success makes them look good, they won’t correct you... but if you embarrass them, watch out).

The Narcissist in a Nutshell:

• They deflect responsibility, shift blame, and triangulate (pitting people against each other).
• They love to devalue—criticizing you and making you feel less than. And let’s not forget, they always have to look good in everyone else’s eyes.
• They compare themselves to others, and no, they’re never satisfied with what they have.
• Special occasions? Not unless it’s on their terms (and, of course, if it makes them look amazing).
• No kindness. No empathy. No respect. No accountability. They would have to acknowledge they have flaws to do that—and we all know that’s not happening.

Some people describe narcissists as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding. Funny thing is, they often have a lot of self-control. They can be charming, extroverted, and interesting—or introverted and vulnerable. Either way, they make you want to dive into their lives, thinking you can "save" them. But here's the kicker—you don’t see their true face until it’s too late. Many people are already deep into a friendship or relationship with a narcissist before their mask falls, and we finally see them for who they really are.  

So, Is It Easy to Deal with a Narcissist?

Nope, not at all. But sometimes, either we’re in too deep, or they might even be someone in our family. So what’s left? Damage control. The narcissist is like in a mental prison.  They have lied to themselves so long, they do not know how to stop.  Sometimes they just don't want to stop, period.  

And the worse part is that when the mask comes off, it's not like we can confront them, we actually shouldn't.  So what do we do?  Well, when the mask comes off, let them.  Let them try to fool us, try to get away with their schemes, manipulation, and tactics. Let them double down.  Let them continue to gas light.  Just let them.  Arguing won't change them, logic won't touch them, appeals for empathy won't make a difference.  

When the mask comes off, just let them.  Let them say whatever and then try to walk away.  Then pray, pray hard for yourself and for them.  And remember, as Christians, we are called to love, even our enemies. That doesn’t always mean we have to stay in close contact with them, though. Sometimes, it means we need to cut them off and pray from a distance. Other times, it means learning to live with them, picking our battles wisely, and knowing when to walk away from a fight or discussion.

In the next post, I’ll dive into strategies for managing a narcissist without losing yourself in the process.

Dating and Hygiene - Please come clean !

Dates, Dating, Crushes and More...

Well, well, well so you like someone huh?  Great!  Liking someone is so much fun!  Now if you like someone and you think you would like to one day date them? Well, there is something we need to discuss.  I have met amazing people.  I have met great people in the church, great people at my daughter's University, great friends of my kids etc.  Now sometimes someone we know has a great personality, they are even quite cute, and they are interesting BUT they wonder why they are not getting that girl or guy they have a crush on.

I sit and I ponder.  Should I tell them why?

It is hard.  It is hard to be honest with someone.  But often times it is necessary to be honest with someone you care about.  I think, I ponder and then I decide to stay quiet.  But the person suffers, they are clueless, they don't understand why they are "so unlucky" when it comes to love.  Well, since I don't have the guts to tell them face to face, and since it has happened dozens and dozens of times - I decided to write about it.  I hope this post while short and to the point will help thousands of humans, here we go.

Simple concept:

No matter how cute you are, how nicely you dress, how rich you are, how smart you are, how funny, what great eyes you have...well no hygiene no luck in dating.

Here is the list:

Clean teeth is not optional.  No gunk, and no bad breath.  And no people that is not too much to ask!  If you ate a pizza and part of the crust stuck to your front teeth and you know it and can see it, TRUST me everybody can see it, and it's not good.  Here, let me put it bluntly: it is disgusting.  But, you say, I didn't have my toothbrush.  Well, I say, carry it with you.  You can excuse yourself and quickly go to the bathroom and have a little brushing.  But having said that, mouth hygiene is cumulative.  You can not expect to never take care of your teeth and then the day you want them clean, you think they magically will be sparkling.  Care for your mouth and oral hygiene.  I am not talking the colour of the teeth.  Different people have different colours, because of different reasons, that is fine.  I know people with yellowish teeth that do not have one cavity and whose teeth are the cleanest I know.  I know people with white teeth that have gunk on them constantly and that would make someone run.  Each day, after each meal:  brush your teeth.  It is that simple.  Once a day, maybe at night, floss your teeth - it's important.  

Baths/Showers are not optional.  Take a shower every day - period.  If you think you stink - you stink!  If you stink don't expect people to want to date you.  Stench is disgusting and it says a lot about who we are.  If we can not take care of ourselves well enough to take a simple shower and stay clean, then how can we take care of anything else?  Men are looking for women that can be good moms one day.  Women are looking for men that would make good partners and fathers one day.  If you can not take care of the most basic thing in your life, keeping yourself clean, then how do you think you come across?  And it is unpleasant, and keep in mind stench in the body comes from bacteria.  Either your arm pits, your butt, or your personal parts are sweaty or worse, and full of bacteria - SHOWER!  Shower and use soap.  Soap up the armpits, the butt, and all important parts.  Nothing stays without soap.  Rub and scrub and then rinse it off.  5 minutes that is all it takes for a new you.  

Ear wax yuk!:  Every few days you need to clean your ears.  Some people use cotton swabs, some people hate them.  If you hate cotton swabs, take a small towel and wash your ear with it.  Gently massage the nooks and crannies of it. Whatever you do, please do something because the ears collect wax and eventually the wax overflows.  There is nothing more gross than to look at someone and when they turn to the side, you see white/yellowy wax gunk on the ear.  It is an instant turn off, and instant: NO!  An instant: RUN!  

 Please wash your hair at least every three days.  The head can stink and there is nothing worse than a stinky head.  Also hair gets greasy and it looks disgusting.  If you have dandruff, buy "Head and Shoulders" or put coconut oil or find a solution.  Dandruff is an instant put off.  Cut your hair every so often and keep it tidy.  Nobody likes a slob!  There I said it, someone had to!

Clean clothes.  You can not expect to never wash your clothes and for them to smell good.  You need to understand if your clothes smell bad, YOU smell bad too.  Clothes absorb food smells and our bad smells AKA sweat.  Please use a T-Shirt no more than two days, one if you stink it up. Pants no more than four days. Here is a great concept:  change your underwear every day  General rule: If you think your clothes stink, everyone can smell them too!  Oh yes!  And do not let your clothes sit wet for long periods, that makes them stink terribly.  If you forget your clothes in the washer for more than six hours, or when you sniff them they smell, you have to wash them again.

Clothes General.  You can't look like a slob.  If you want to be attractive try at least a little bit.  There is a fairly good looking guy at my daughter's University but he uses thin sweat pants that look like Pyjamas and you can almost see his private parts, no good.  Look a clean pair of jeans and a nice T Shirt goes a long way.  You don't have to spend millions in clothes just don't be a slob.Your shoes/feet should not stink, here is a general rule if you can smell them - everyone can smell them too.  

Try to avid stinky food.  I don't care how much you like it !  Stinky food gives you bad breath and it stinks up your clothes including your jacket in the winter.  Avoid stinky food.

Check yourself.  Not everyone has time to shower every day.  But you need to wake up early enough to have time to check yourself.  Smell yourself, if you think you stink, you stink!  Use baby wet wipes and deodorant or wet a towel and rub.  Whatever you need to do, but take care of it.  Also look in the mirror. Look carefully at your eyes, make sure there are no eye gunk, or any crust.  Even better, maybe you do not shower every morning, BUT you should wash your face every morning and every night before bed.  If you do that you should be pretty ok with your face issues.  Check your teeth after you eat out, simply excuse yourself and go to the bath room and swish with water and take a look.  If they look clean you are good to go.

Face full of pimples.  Look pimples are a pain in the neck, I get it.  And some pimples we can not avoid.  But I am here to tell you that there are many pimples that we can avoid.  If I have ten pimples but could have only three - why then chose to have ten!  It makes no sense.  So here are some tips, wisdom the ages.  Do theses things and your life will improve when it comes to pimples.  Wash your face every morning after waking up, and every night before going to bed.  JUST DO IT!  I am trying to help you here, so no discussions, say I am your borrowed advisor/friend.  Also pay attention when you got that nasty pimple, what did you eat that was out of the usual?  I am gonna tell you some things that 100% give nasty pimples from my experience:  Costco pastries, including muffins and chocolate chip cookies.  Cheap pastries in general.  Cheap Chocolate specially Cadburys, I only eat Lyndt and I am very careful.  Certain cheeses, you have to be like a hawk and notice and immediately stop eating the cheese that you guess is the problem.  Cheap greasy products, use Olive Oil and butter and Coconut Oil only.

Remedies:  If you get pimples.  Wash your face.  Use a good quality coconut oil at night.  Yes you apply it to your face, yes it heals and does not give pimples.  Also you can use a dash of Tea Tree Oil mixed with the coconut oil in stubborn pimples.  And do not mess with your pimples, not unless they are white and ready to pop, then you gently press them, hopefully not with your nails.

If you want to go an extra mile, pick a nice perfume or cologne, don't use too much of it, just a tad, and go out smelling like heaven.  If you don't have money for cologne , no problem.  Clean is always the best smell in the world! 

Well, these are some tips for you.  Change these things and I am pretty sure: your dating life will improve. 

 Remember we can not always blame the world, change needs to start with us!

OBVIOUSLY:  This is to let you know that I am not a doctor or a psychologist etc and my advise is only based on my life experience.  My advise is given as a friend would give it to a friend.  Simply my opinion.